The Real You

We want others to believe in us. We want to feel needed and be seen. We want others to understand us and love us for who we are, yet we seldom show our ‘true colours’.

We want the world and are often simply delivered an atlas. We do a great job of blaming and shaming the world around us for this and not getting out way.

I remember this vividly. I was this person of lack, scarcity and masks. I didn’t believe in me, I didn’t think I had what it truly took to be great, so I hid from the world. Wore any and every mask I could to protect myself and fit in.

The truth was, my underlying desires did not change. I still yearned to be seen and to be believed in. The reality was how How could others really see me if I kept changing costume How could they get to know and appreciate me if I was never really me

We do this, we become so attached to what we think we are not that we do whatever we can to be that person that we think the world truly wants to see. The world doesn’t want that. The people in your life want to feel safe.

The only way they can feel safe is to see you for who you are. No surprises, no guessing games, minimal contradictions and minimal hypocrisy and mixed messages.

So, you just want to be you, but you’re scared if you show the real you and you are rejected the pain cuts deeper compared to the mask you are wearing being rejected. The impact isn’t as profound.

You may be right… for now. In the long run though it will tear you up. When I got confident and began to believe in me and the truth of who I really was and gave zero fucks about giving that to the world was the moment my relationships became healthier, richer, realer and way more fun!

If you want others to back you, to believe in you and to see you, you need to be YOU. You need to be willing to perhaps be told “you’re wrong, you’re ugly, you’re worthless, you’re not enough” and so on. AND THEN you have the opportunity to NOT internalise it and continue to be YOU.

Without the facade, without taking it personally and without buying in to the victimhood of it all. I did that for too long, it didn’t serve. Lift the veil and truly be free. Your life awaits you…

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



An Open Apology To The Feminine – PART I

And so we are here… We have finally arrived at a place that will either determine our inward evolution or completely break who we are and who we have the capacity to be. Will we choose sacredness in union or will we choose further division?

The One Thing That Creates Connection, Depth, and Intimacy

We learn at a young age to wear masks to protect ourselves and be part of the “in” or popular group. We seek validation, approval and acceptance of those we deify, love and respect (aka our parents, peers and society).
We can’t maintain this. We seek to be accepted in all the wrong ways. Masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us. They are simply contrasted energetic expressions of our thoughts, beliefs and reality.

To Avoid Is To Hide

How do we respond to ‘rejection’? How do we respond to being pushed away? What is happening in our minds, brains, emotional bodies and physiology when we are perceiving to be rejected…?

“Controlling” The Mystery

Men seek to control what they do not understand. We spend so much of our energy and time attempting to subjugate, conquer or demean women because we feel threatened and vulnerable to the mystery power that the feminine holds over our unconscious psyches.

The Decisive Nature Of Man

Can you leap fully in to the life you choose and be all in?

Can you commit fully to what you value deeply?

Do you know what you value?

Have you the courage to posture your truth?

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