Why Others May Be “Mean” To You

  • Unresolved childhood pain 
  • Pent up repressed anger 
  • Narcissistic tendencies 
  • Feeling too much pressure 
  • Unconscious fear 
  • Feeling out of control 
  • Not accepting reality as it is 
  • They are constantly feeling threatened 
  • They dislike themselves 
  • Are at the very beginning stages of their growth journey and are frustrated 
  • Using you as an outlet for venting 

There are no excuses for someone mistreating you, however, there are reasons. Understanding these possible reasons bridges the gap between response and reaction (and reaction often damages relationships). This understanding provides us with two important access points to greater consciousness and relationships.

Our ability to practice compassion, empathy, understanding, and give that to others, so that they may perhaps feel comforted, seen and not shamed as maybe they have in the past. Is it your “job” to make anyone feel better? No, it is not. However, it is our duty as humans to grow and heal and help others do the same. When we do, we actually grow ourselves in a profound way.

We get to set healthy boundaries based on what our needs are and communicate that in a healthy, clear way. We get to know ourselves at a deeper level, increase our self-worth and value, and bring that into the world.

It is also an opportunity to look at ourselves. After all, we are the common denominator in all of our interpersonal experiences. Perhaps another is being mean to us because of (at least in part) how we are behaving. At the least, we get to look at that.

Understanding others provides us with direct insight into our needs, who we are, and where we can improve or evolve in life. Asking ourselves a simple question of “What would LOVE do now”? Opens our hearts to the possibility of reconciliation and breaking old, generational patterns.

There are times when we come from old ingrained, conditioned patterns and to help us get unstuck from these unhealthy and outdated patterns we require the compassion, witnessing, and non-judgment of others. It can go a long way…

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



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