Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

The End Of An Era Of Isolation

I spent so much of my life not being heard, not being felt, not being seen, understood or connected to. I spent so much of my life attempting to appease and please others. Suffering myself and demoting my needs and values and elevating others at the expense of my own.

I did not value me, did not respect and revere me, did connect to me and did not love me. I felt isolated, disconnected, fractured and far removed form any form of wholeness. I lashed out to the world.

Left to my own interpretation of what I thought and felt I was I became self-destructive, fluctuating between internalising pain and suffering and lashing out to the world and being overt. My outer world became a reflection of my inner world – critical, harsh, judgemental, fearful and aggressive in expression. I felt disconnected.

I felt mask after mask after mask being layered up on the core of who and what I was and I knew I was responsible but projected and externalised my blame. I felt lost, disorientated and in turmoil. No real outlet to express because I was neglecting going within – I mean truly within and attempting to feel full and comprehend ‘who am I and why am I’…

I felt the pressure of being a man and meeting some ill-informed and unrealistic set standard of what it mean to be a man. To be in uniform, structured, solid without consciousness, clarity, presence and connectedness. To be closed in posture and defiant to openness.

I chose this and was dealing with the confusion and cluttered mind. So, I made a choice to be different, to not adhere to generalised norms and to break free from the shackles of projected limitations. I chose to go deep, to explore, to accept, to be kind, to realise that transformation was ‘an inside job’. I needed the world, but needed me (one in the same).

I observed life from a place of progression, not perfection. Possibility and not limitation. I observed and felt in to chaos as patterns I had not yet identified that if I remained with (in silence), would provide me with context, meaning, release and relief. These unidentified (yet) and chaotic (seemingly) patterns were here to serve me, help me grow and transcend.

Albeit painful, I leveraged my inner warrior. A warrior essence and expression I had utilised in extremes previously, I now transmuted in to serving my soul and path as opposed to demoralising myself. I transmuted this power in to service, not hindrance.

I used skills that allowed me to be an extreme expression of an unhealthy man and transmuted these skills in to what it meant to be a healthy man to me. To help me grow, connect, feel and be greater grounded in to self.

This became a powerful vehicle for transformation and empowerment. I no longer felt isolated and misunderstood or not known because I began to step in to my own sovereign power. I began to look to myself for value, worthiness and justification. I was able to do this because I got congruent, clear and connected to who I truly was. I became greater aware and was able to shift patterns that were rooted in fear and maladaptive coping strategies. I realised the recognition of my own worth was my greatest source of power and service.

When as men we create this presence we grow profoundly and change from being disconnected and unworthy beings to acting from a dislocated place to acting in integrity and congruent and authentically mirrored posturing.

This is game-changer. We become safer and stable as men. We are able to be vertical and feel heard, because we are hearing ourselves through a clear channel and therefore needn’t be unconsciously frustrated and lash out to the world.

When we live through our fears and pains we transcend the heartache, body ache and soul ache of being isolated.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

The Perpetual Taking

To take consciously is to give abundantly…

For a man to be adored by his woman means the cosmos to him. For a man to be loved, sincerely cared, seen and nurtured allows him to burst in to thriving in to the universe – amplifying his power.

For a woman to be witnessed, served and known for who she is and the gifts she bares in to this world is liberating. For a man to support and hear his woman frees her expression wildly. For a man to be non-judgmental is opening for his woman.

The Innate Mystery Of The Divine Woman

There is a great mystery that permeates our consciousness and that is the mystery of the creative energy. As a society, we have shunned what we do not understand…

The Authentic Art Of Courting

When courting or in the pursuit of intimate relationship we place the grandest version of ourselves forward. We present what we perceive to be the what the ‘other’ desires, needs or wants…

Tapping Into Your Feminine

The internalized embodiment of feminine consciousness by man has been a welcoming change as it has allowed both men and women to see each other at greater depth. A more profound appreciation has transpired towards women and this has bridged the gap of isolating our differences.

Healing the Goddess Wound

Healing the goddess wound is going to require effort from all of us. The goddess was once revered. Time to bring this honoring back. What is the goddess wound? It is the suppression of the divine potential and value of the feminine expressive that we all require in order to live harmoniously and flourish sexually, socially, relationally and technologically.

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