The Change Of Man

Men have been in flux for a great deal of time – transmuting, reviving, redefining and realizing their role, place and understanding of self.

For those men especially that are not graced by (or have produced) affluence and have access to resources these are trying times on their masculinity and their perception of self.

As men, we have been struggling with self-identity, gender relations, our own masculinity, responsibility, moral standing and authentic power.

Make power has been called in to question and for many of us as men it is time to face ourselves, our social constructs and the nature of inclusivity and practiced equity.

We are questioning whether we can do and be this and still retain some level of ‘masculinity’ and familiarity?

Discarding what no longer serves us and embracing what does, whilst still being surrounded by the familiar presence of who we are as en.

Frustration, abhorrence and radical ‘macho’ politics must be discarded of. This does not mean we lose all that we are and all that we wish to be.

It does mean however that our relationship to sovereignty and power is about to change for the better. Less pressured, less volatile and in greater integrity.

We needn’t lose our identities in order to break through and grow. We can still provide, protect and pursue with meaning and fulfillment without engaging in the wider cultural battles that are plaguing our collective uncertainty.

We can release the needs to satisfy others and their expectations, whilst suppressing and repressing our pain, fear and anger.

We are moving through seismic shifts. We can learn to use new tools for expression and presence, whilst still being grounded in our being and connected to our healthy masculinity.

We needn’t hold the burden of pain and perceived failure in silos any longer. We are better than that – for our own development and the growth of those we care about.

We all experience pain and suffering. As men have experienced a hierarchy of power for millennia they are also more likely to crash and burn hard!

We, as men have been overrepresented in the ‘positive’ in society – leadership positions, politics, etc. but also overrepresented in the negative – crime, prison, homelessness, drug addiction, violence, etc.

We can win big or severely crash. There is a price to pay for this imbalance and we are all paying it. Unhealthy power distribution, unrealistic and unsustainable expectations (largely self imposed) and pressure.

To paint us as victims is difficult and doesn’t sound quite ‘right’. We have defined cultural norms and the direction of our society through the power we have ‘enjoyed’ for so long. But the reality is we are suffering deeply.

The stereotype of what it means to be a man in this society is detrimental to our health and this is demonstrated by massive depression rates, acts of violence against self and others, suicide and more.

Being self-reliant in this world, in this way is unhealthy. There can be no healthy self-reliance if as men we have been repressing our truth for so long and the back lash affects everyone, inclusive of beautiful children and the feminine.

We feel may be losing control and losing influence. We may feel we are going from being the pride of society to having no place. This is not true. We can move beyond this…

We are dying inside and we are dying as middle aged men. We are falling behind from a perspective of mental health and physical health.

It is time we take responsibility and ownership for who we are and ask for help. We must redefine our self-worth and seek guidance in order to grow.

We are ready for a new dawn…

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author