“Controlling” The Mystery

Men seek to control what they do not understand. We spend so much of our energy and time attempting to subjugate, conquer or demean women because we feel threatened and vulnerable to the mystery power that the feminine holds over our unconscious psyches.

We like to think we are free of the magnetic attraction of the feminine and that we may define ourselves on our own terms against nothing or no one. The reality is we are connected, relational beings. The only way to cease relying or comparing is to explore our own inner sanctum from a place of love, not fear.

The male psyche feels an inundation by the feminine ocean ready to sweep him
away at a whim. To lose his sense of self is so threatening. This fragility we experience as men is daunting beyond the psyche or the emotional being. It is grounded in ontological and existential fact.

A man who chooses to not be threatened by this mystery and who embraces this mystery is the man who is liberated, the man who carries strength as opposed to weakness as he is choosing to not avoid and hide but rather face his vice or Achilles heel.

Knowing that the limits of our virility also resides in the elusive dark mystery of the feminine is threatening to our psyche. Woman resides in the shadows and this scares us, so we push her and it away. Never becoming acquainted with the part of ourselves that can also enlighten and liberate us.

Alongside our own masculine exploration and connection to the cosmos, in order to be whole we must explore our unconscious feelings that encapsulate the images of woman to dispel false mystification and dissolve the sense of threat and fear that is so unknown to us. And to finally embrace and love the mysterious feminine.

To believe we are COMPLETELY autonomous and self-reliant without influence is a fallacy. We emerged from woman. There is a deep connection there. We will not be lost if we embrace ourselves and woman simultaneously.

Our time to relinquish this notion of suppressive control over our own minds and the bodies of women must come to an end. We yearn for clarity around woman, this comes after much journeying. We must express patience and persistence in order to understand and fully know.

The sexual-spiritual maturation of man is to transition from the archetypical sense of woman he has in his mind to individuating woman so she can be seen fully for her she truly is. These shadow archetypes of women we have created must be exorcised from our minds in order for us to freely interact with women as they are.

And similarly, it becomes imperative that the collective feminine eradicate the notion of the generalized modern masculine. The attachment to a negative or only dark side of the masculine existing. The truth is empowered healthy masculinity definitely exists. Expelling this notion that “toxic masculinity” is the norm and all there is, is a must. It would be an obsolete paradox if it did not. The moment we create space for a new paradigm our realities shift profoundly.

The willing, enduring, non-threatened and persevering man is the man that will he triumphant. Be this man…

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author