Why You May Be Attracting an Effeminate Man In Intimacy

We learn at a young age to wear masks to protect ourselves and be part of the “in” or popular group. We seek validation, approval and acceptance of those we deify, love and respect (aka our parents, peers and society).

We can’t maintain this. We seek to be accepted in all the wrong ways. Masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us. They are simply contrasted energetic expressions of our thoughts, beliefs and reality.

Our society prioritizes masculine energy. The external expression is over-valuing (at the expense of the feminine) productivity, status, accomplishment, goals, hierarchy and possessions.

We have lost our inner balance. As children we want to be part of the status quo, so we tend to conform. For little girls, they may be told by their mother to never rely on a man, or her father dominates and wants to make her stronger. So, she wears a masculine mask.

Later, as a teenager she witnesses men attracted to other females who are more feminine, so she puts a feminine mask on. As an adult, she learns to put on a strong masculine mask again because she has been hurt and she is in a cut-throat environment.

We attract similarity because we feel emotionally safe and comfortable but when it comes to a strong sexual polarity and energetic we crave the opposite. If our core expression (not necessarily essence) is masculine we will yearn for a feminine energetic.

We need to unpack our wounding and remove the masks. A female in dominant masculine expression can move more into her feminine by tapping into her compassionate and soft heart. Practice vulnerability, create space for creativity, focus on giving and receiving love and filling her senses with bliss and mystery. Moving away from structure, rigidity and incessant goal-orientated behaviour can help activate the core feminine essence. 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author