Why You May Be Attracting an Effeminate Man In Intimacy

We learn at a young age to wear masks to protect ourselves and be part of the “in” or popular group. We seek validation, approval and acceptance of those we deify, love and respect (aka our parents, peers and society).

We can’t maintain this. We seek to be accepted in all the wrong ways. Masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us. They are simply contrasted energetic expressions of our thoughts, beliefs and reality.

Our society prioritizes masculine energy. The external expression is over-valuing (at the expense of the feminine) productivity, status, accomplishment, goals, hierarchy and possessions.

We have lost our inner balance. As children we want to be part of the status quo, so we tend to conform. For little girls, they may be told by their mother to never rely on a man, or her father dominates and wants to make her stronger. So, she wears a masculine mask.

Later, as a teenager she witnesses men attracted to other females who are more feminine, so she puts a feminine mask on. As an adult, she learns to put on a strong masculine mask again because she has been hurt and she is in a cut-throat environment.

We attract similarity because we feel emotionally safe and comfortable but when it comes to a strong sexual polarity and energetic we crave the opposite. If our core expression (not necessarily essence) is masculine we will yearn for a feminine energetic.

We need to unpack our wounding and remove the masks. A female in dominant masculine expression can move more into her feminine by tapping into her compassionate and soft heart. Practice vulnerability, create space for creativity, focus on giving and receiving love and filling her senses with bliss and mystery. Moving away from structure, rigidity and incessant goal-orientated behaviour can help activate the core feminine essence. 

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Today’s Modern Warrior

In a world of dysmorphic alpha males that are attached to polarized and unhealthy expressive states of being, something needs to give… We tend to think that there are either alpha or beta males – firstly, this line of thinking is limiting (does alpha even truly exist???? And secondly, we have an opportunity to redefine what it means to be an ‘alpha’ male…

What Women Truly Desire From Their Men

This list is a guide as to how we as men can show up with greater presence, truth and awareness in relationship to self and others. Relationship can ask us to be the best versions of self.

Will you adhere to the call? We all have needs and desires. There have been times in my life that I have wanted more from others, however in reality I was really wanting more from myself.

The Underestimating Of Female Power

As a collective energy and historically men have disregarded the sacredness of women – the authentic power they bring and the presence they contain.
The narrative has been one of discrimination, segregation, divide, oppression and minimisation…

Signs You Are In Your Shadow Masculine

This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.

We All Have Stories

We all have stories… We all have a past. Most of our pasts are less lopsided than we think.

Amidst the chaos, confusion and the volatility exists a place where there is at the least; some peace. My past and childhood at large weren’t pretty… Many of us share similar pasts.

Share This