Men – Healthy Pursuit

In our culture, in our society (men in particular) can often be ostracized for single minded and tenacious pursuit.

When we engage or embody any expressive state in an imbalanced, non-harmonious and polarized manner over time we become almost toxic in our posture.

Is the pursuit of something of value, meaningful, purposeful and empowering not worthy of our deep attention? Is it not worthy of our focus?

It is, but like so much of life, intention is imperative and HOW we engage in this practice truly defines our capacity to experience inner harmony and equilibrium.

In modern society we have been conditioned that individualism, independence, success and the attainment of wealth is paramount to identifying one’s self-worth and contribution to society as meaningful.

If we are not successful, we are not a valuable citizen. So in order to feel needed, significant and connected (primary human needs) we pursue and often at any cost.

Men, have stepped up and in to this role deeply. We have identified with the tenacious pursuit of an objective or goal at any cost as being something that determines our ‘manliness’, manhood and self-worth.

‘At any cost’ is part of the polarization here. Pursuit in and of itself is beautiful, endearing, attractive and necessary. It becomes problematic when we pursue at the cost of other integral values.

Men have fallen in to this chasm and have unknowingly sacrificed the quality and intimacy of relationships because they have been able to discern what is needed in order to improve or create flourishing relationships.

Why, because our focus has been on the pursuit of attainment, accrual and ownership. How do we move in a healthier balance within whilst still honouring the value of pursuit?

We know self. We begin to value our interpersonal relationships. We move in delicate balance. We honour the art of non-attachment. We embrace other expressive states and values.

We cease to pursue at the expense of hurting others (which is what our society systemically and unconsciously often advocates through the prioritisation of certain values over others).

Single mindedness, tenacity, fierceness, focus from a place love, care, inclusivity and openness is considered healthy pursuit. This pursuit is liberating and allows us to flourish whilst promoting the importance of connected relationships.

As men, when we master this posture we become whole, we move in to healthy expressive states and we can embrace natural ways of being that do not exclude, harm and hurt our loved ones.

Yes, this level of truth can be attained and embodied fully. But we must realise that we needn’t compromise the quality of our focus and tenaciousness – we simply need to shift our beliefs and perspectives around our actions.

One is always glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



12 Simple Tips To Improve Communication In Your Relationships

We can mostly agree that communication is the cornerstone to any successful, endearing, loving and intimate relationship. In fact, communication can make or break our relationships. Let’s dive straight in to 12 simple tips to improve communication in your relationships…

A Fierce Kind Of Love

We cannot expect others to fill our voids. If we are not connected to who we ultimately (in an ever-evolving way) are we are ‘losing’. Love with ‘others’ may only flourish when we at least recognise the love within ourselves, when we realise we are our own source of brilliance, power, flowing love and divinity.

Making Peace With Our Destiny

When we make peace with the parts of our lives that challenge our will and reality, we soften in to the power that is life. We often attach ourselves to the idea of what we are ‘meant to be’, who we are meant to be, what we are meant to be, how we are meant to feel and why we are here…

The Silent Killer

We all want love. We all wish to be deeply connected. Sentience, intelligence, wisdom permeates all of us.

This yearning to be seen and to belong, to feel intimate connection courses through the essence of all that we are, have been and will ever be.

Irrespective of ‘humaneness’, sentience wishes to expand through connected union.

Claiming One’s Self

We are constant works in progress. We are consistently evolving who we are. Perfection exists but only in a non-attached manner.

We are perfectly imperfect. That is the riddle. In my own life I have made many many mis-takes, many ‘failures’ and many choices that have not been conducive to my health or the health of my loved ones.

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