My Unhealthy Shadow Relationship To Food

Men experience food addictions and body issues too. I used food as a means to escape. To leave my reality. It made me feel good. I felt connected, alive and SAFE with food. Food, like the movies, would momentarily take me away from a place that was violent, volatile and what felt to be unsafe.

It became the norm for me. Sugar fixes, overindulgence and gorging my food. I would eat a great deal, eat fast and want more. I associated food with safety. When at my grandparents’ house, my grandmother would cook up a storm.

Italian grandparents love feeding their grandchildren. I would feel sad for being at home and my grandmother always made me feel better. I began to build the neurological and emotional associations with food. I relied on food to make me feel better and there were times I couldn’t get enough, to the point I would vomit. This also plays into victim and co-dependence patterns I was developing.

This obviously affected my weight and I became conscious of this also. I would notice my father commenting on it more and I felt even more isolated. However, food was a constant, I could rely on food. But as my hormones changed, so did my outlook on life and my body. I changed my relationship to food and my body because that was something I was NOT comfortable with and it took some time. I go into more detail in the video.

I explore my relationship to fitness, health, mental wellness and how food can still affect me to this day and what I do to be in greater harmony with my body. There are still attachments there, however, I am aware of them and I am not so easily controlled by old patterns of impulses.

An example may be, if I am not feeling connected to my body, I may train harder, more, longer and really restrict my eating. I like to experiment with the edge, however, truth be told, some cases its because I am feeling low self-esteem and low self-worth. The “come from” is not healthy in this case.

I share this with you all so that you know you needn’t suffer in silence and isolation. You are not alone.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author