It is time for the modern man to choose openly to remove his unconscious and unhealthy armour. No, this does not translate to becoming apathetic, denying any biological drivers within or relinquishing his ‘manliness’ or manhood.

It does mean however, to redefine what it means to be masculine, what it means to be a man on today’s terms in today’s world.

Being a man in today’s world needs to be more than just being emotionally unavailable to oneself and to others because essentially deny’s an integral aspect of our humanity and of what it means to be a ‘complete human’.

To be human, means to feel, to receive and to express openly. To be human still means to protect what one believes in, to be present and to be open in posture. The ‘how’ of how men (respond or rather react) to life needs to transmute.

By being emotionally expressive,, by not channeling the emotional body through abhorrence, senseless and unnecessary violence, abhorrence and extreme aggression we allow ourselves to feel the present moment truth that resides within us whilst granting ourselves an opportunity to connect wholly, authentically and meaningfully with ourselves and with others.

As a man, I feel. I feel the world around me. I feel my pain, the pain of others and I must choose to not ignore this but to be with this. Society (over millennia) has told us in way way or another (consciously, unconsciously, systemically or overtly) that real men do not show emotion, do not share their inner selves for it is not ‘manly’. It is not what real men do.

This deny’s our personhood. This deny’s our ability to connect to a fuller sense of self. Our self-identity becomes fractured, fragmented and we become frustrated. We unleash this frustration unto ourselves and the world. This is not fair, equitable, nor growth promoting.

This not oppression and suppression of self not only affects men. It affects women, children, Earth, collective sociocultural paradigms and so much more. What can we do to transmute this behaviour and this posture?

Men, by expressing emotion we are not taking away our ability to engage in ‘things’ that men do or are. We are actually connecting deeper to this we love and that which we love. We are not removing our ability to protect, provide or pursue (innate male traits). We are enhancing these as we give them a more profound shape, substance and more robust reference point to the world.

For too long, open emotional expression has been reserved for women and as men we have understood it as a signal of weakness, unworthiness and softness. And that expressing sincere emotion we are ‘feminising’ ourselves. This could not be further from the truth. Yes, how we communicate is important but what we communicate is also of imperative value. Standing powerfully in clarity defines our expression to the world and the manner in which we relate to ourselves. 

This conversation runs deep and is layered – both collectively and individually. To continue to focus on the damage of polarisation and fracture only gives us more of that experience. To focus on creating substance and wholeness within our relationships is where we must choose to place our energies and intentions.

Transforming the way we think about ourselves and the world to align with a heart-based, inclusive yet warrior based posture is where men will flourish.

We will fight (and for now where the collective consciousness is – we need to fight) for equity, freedom, inclusivity, connection, wholeness, values that evolve humanity and Earth not suppress or ‘devolve’ us.

Our time is here… Join the raising and evolving collective movement.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author