The Vulnerable Man

The Vulnerable Man

For too long, have we as a society demeaned the power of open heart based – vulnerable and feeling based and communication. Whilst we all feel, so many of us have denied the full expression of inwardly defined expression.

This has been most prominent and dominant in men. Men have lost their innate and empowered ability to communicate, express and feel authentically, meaningfully and beautifully.


Vulnerability Is Not A Weakness

The choice to do this has largely been grounded in the perception that it is a weakness to be vulnerable with oneself outside of oneself and towards oneself.

Men being largely territorial, possessive and valuing constructs and postures opposing the premise of healthy open expression have seen men distance themselves further from their core selves and those they care for deeply.

These traits are part bio-physiological / evolutionary (hard wired yet plastic traits) and part culturally conditioned (developed, impressed and enhanced via our environment and normative social values and practices).


A Time To Grow

Irrespective of this, our species has suffered at our (men) more often than not inability to connect and bond deeply. This lack of deeper intimacy has damaged our relationships and disconnected us from our needs as a loving species.

Vulnerability is actually power. With out immense courage one can not be vulnerable. To open one’s heart and inner space to the world is daunting, terrifying, and may feel soul destroying. So we generally refrain from engaging in such practices.

Vulnerability allows us to release – to release our inner pain, to be heard, to be felt, to be seen, to be known. When we regularly embody this practice with those that we can trust, respect and revere we feel safer and in this safety we can express fully.

It is in this open and endearing exchange that we find ourselves. Our neurology literally transmutes and vibrates with new synaptic connections and pathways literally building a more evolved, compassionate (unified), empathetic and connected being.

We also build and cultivate courage and deeper levels of self-awareness. In this space we begin to feel profoundly, essentially coming in to Wholeness of being. Fragmenting less and improving the quality of our relationships and exchange of intimacy between our loved ones.


The Power To Transcend

If we continue to deny our vulnerability, we are denying two things:

  1. Our ability to go deeper, grow, evolve, transform our own journeys – shift pain, inner turmoil and suffering.
  2. Quality relationships, intimacy, bonding, connecting and being known.

We are relational beings by nature. We require deep intimacy in order to flourish, thrive and prosper. To feel is to become greatness. As men we must take lead to feel fully and connectedly once again…

Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is a f*****g super-power and one that will evolve our relationships beyond question.

One is always glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Inner Wounded Child

See that little child in your lover. There is a little one inside each of us.
We become confused because when we are hurt by the actions of adults. We see adults who “should know better”. We witness mature, developed adults taking actions that are hurtful, malicious & laden with intent.

When Someone Tells You That You Can’t, What They’re Really Saying Is They Can’t

Don’t get caught up in the ignorance and insecurities of others. So often, we are stuck in our own pains and fears and we project this outwardly.

When those in your life display jealousy, ‘put downs’, relentless and thoughtless doubt, nay-saying, antagonistic behavior and looking for and identifying the worst in all that you are and do, it is linked intimately to their own sense of self.

The Talk To Trauma

We speak a great deal to the wounds of the past, the pain we have experienced ‘growing up’. We can be debilitated unknowingly by the pain we harbour within because we have been unable to release the tension certain experiences have caused us – the feeling of an endless mountain looms ahead.

The Power Of Loss In Love

How do we explain something so fragile, so deep and so profound. When we lose loved ones, intimacy, ideals, beliefs, ideologies, familiarity and all else in between? I wish to focus on relational loss here though…

The Richness Of Union

There is a richness that accompanies commitment. When we commit to the intertwining of all the expressions of self, we grow in to a more encompassed and complete version of who we have always been.

The intertwining of our sexual sacredness may only transpire if we are open to receiving and giving in equanimity. Our sexual energy may only flow when we are free of shame and when we have chosen to commit without inhibition. To be SEEN for all that we are.

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