Sexual Union

Sexual union is something that has been deeply distorted throughout the cultural and social fabric of our existence for quite some time. There is a profound sacredness that comes from being intimately connected and in cosmic sexualised union with another. We negate this deeper union for something fast paced (quick fix and immediate sensory gratification) and more superficial and we will explore this in greater depth shortly.

The Power Of Sexuality

Sexuality (at a base physical level) exists in the physiology as a form of reproduction that ensures we connect to the essence of our physicality and humanity and is able to carry on our existence and life-force through life production. This however is only one of its purposes of course – deep within the multilayered purpose of sexuality is a frequency that is not comprehended nor connected to holistically by the masses. This vibratory frequency and pertinent energy source is presented in the form of orgasm – but not necessarily as it used today by the greater collective in this day and age.

The Orgasm

The orgasm has been far removed form its core purpose and function. Through misaligned, oppressed and suppressed collective conditioning our body-mind-soul-heart connection has lost contact with the cosmic rapture of the orgasm and its potential to liberate our minds and hearts. For millennia and through various institutionalised sects we have been indoctrinated to believe that sexual intimacy is somewhat superficial and is removed from any association with spiritual alignment. This is misaligned and incorrect. We are more than this, let us discover how and why…

Firstly, sexuality and the open and liberal expression of this equates to unified source connection, whilst providing us with a sense of deepened inner freedom. An ecstasy that connects us back to source consciousness – God – The Divine – Universal Wholeness. This is not achieved so much through externalised ejaculatory practices but rather internalised ‘in-jaculatory’ practices. Taoist philosophy, Tantra and other Eastern mystic sects have known this truth for millennia. The Western world must keep pace…

The Healing Nature Of Sexuality

Over the years sexuality has been more associated with the negative than the positive. This collective perspective has imprinted in our DNA, within every one of us at a cellular level. It is necessary for us to connect to our sexuality in a healthy manner. To view sexuality in such a way that is liberating, connecting and harmonizing. We may also choose to observe closely our relationship to our sexuality, how it serves us and how we relate to it in the present moment.

Do we shy away? Have we shame, guilt or tension around sexual expression? Do we connect to sexuality in an unhealthy manner? Do we exploit sexuality? Are we selfish and superficial around our sexuality? What are our feelings and perceptions around sexuality? How do we utilise and express sexual energy? Have we mastery, connection and understanding to our sexuality? These are deeply empowering questions to ask ourselves that may lead us to a multi-layered understanding of connected, human and cosmic sexuality (one in the same really).

Tantra, Sacred Union & Deepened Spirituality

In various arms of traditional Tantrik practice it is understood that sexuality and sacred sexual union is a direct pathway to enlightenment and a granting of access to higher forms of elevated and evolved consciousness (a primary function for the human being is to return to source through the ascension of one’s consciousness). When absorbed and observed with authentic and sincere intention, sexuality stimulates our ultimate potentiality and allows us to live at higher frequencies of being.

True Sexuality is so deeply misunderstood on this Earth, in this modern era sexuality is viewed as a tool for immediate self-gratification, which negates our ability to travel deep within the self and within the other (cosmic and universal union). When a sincere exchange of sexual energy occurs, where both souls are integrating from a perspective and intention to merge all aspects of their being – the physical component simply becomes one part of this evolution in to self. Ultimately, ‘real’ and holistic sexuality invokes such a profound and deep spirituality that is liberated from social stigma and then chooses to look at itself as The Creator & Master Manifesting Being.

A beautiful, nurturing, open, trusting and vulnerable exchange occurs between two beings that choose sincerely to focus on a higher spiritual truth and connection.

The Potential Gift Of Monogamy

When we choose to align ourselves with a well-aligned partner we discover that we are able to accelerate our growth. But what defines a well-aligned partner? Firstly it’s a couple that are aware that they are in a conscious relationship. And what is a conscious relationship? Individuals who are self-aware; who are present in the relationship to grow for themselves and for each other; who are prepared to move through the challenges; who respect, trust and revere each other deeply and who prioritise their expansion of consciousness over anything else and they will ask consistently – “Is this relationship and the other facilitating this posture and I am being of service to them”? 

Beyond this and expanding this empowering purpose is yet another question to ask ourselves in reference to conscious relating: “Does the posturing of myself and the other in this relationship allow me to be of greater service to humanity, the cosmos and is the other supporting the fulfilment of my purpose in this reality, whilst of course am I doing and being the same for them”?

When we have many partners, our energy is scattered. Most of us are challenged to contain this energy in such a way that is healthy and directed openly. We tend to be less honest for risk of hurting others or ourselves; there are higher instances of shame experienced and our energy is dispersed, which ultimately removes our ability to focus deeply – which of course further distracts us from going deep within ourselves and therefore leveraging sexuality as a purely physical tool only (not maximising it’s potential). Of course, a great deal of this is dependant on your intention and where you find yourself in life – your inner space and your current needs.

Monogamy does not necessarily mean for a lifetime. What it does mean however though, is being with that person in that present moment and serving you, the other and the choice to prioritise growth and expansion with that one individual only. Choosing to be mutually loyal, honest, transparent, open, and sharing with the person you are ‘working’ with, and go as deep as you can with them.

If this lasts a lifetime, wonderful, if it does not, then when you both reach a place of deepened maturity where you can openly state that this dynamic is no longer serving you and you just cannot grow anymore, nor can you accelerate your expansion then you release the relationship with gnosis, love and grace. You then either spend time with yourself or your search / await / are open for another who matches your vibration.

Intimate Bonding

When we spend time with each other intimately, we cultivate trust, deepened connected love and understanding. Most of us are challenged in trusting ourselves simply because we have not been shown that trust as young children and these ideologies, beliefs and patterning’s have carried over in to our adult relationships and posturing’s.

We have a tremendous capacity to learn about trust in an authentic and healthy relationship because relationships act as mirrors for our growth, providing us with a vantage point and broader perspective outside of ourselves that may enlighten our view of certain situations. Remember, we come together in intimate relationship and we seek another (that resembles our core early childhood relationships) to heal, equilibrate and move through what we received and did not receive both unconsciously and consciously as children from our primary care givers – our primary and core relationships.

Sexuality plays a major role in our evolution here and if we can remain in focus, sexuality can liberate us. The challenges are grand, but the growth is profound…

A healthy, loving, autonomous and ‘Selfishly Selfless’ relationship will demonstrate a version or versions of you outside of yourself, so that you may be fuller connected to the core of your being and ultimately access source consciousness (greater insight in to YOU). It is when we are exposed to the many faces that we are (full-spectrum of self) that we emerge in to wholeness. It is here in this experiential and connected state of wholeness that we are able to access unified truth and higher levels of consciousness.

The Power Of Communication

When we choose to engage in open communication within sexuality and deep intimacy, and when we cease to utilise superficial / basic sexuality as a distraction for not getting deeply closer to each other (ultimately ourselves) and to the divine we expand towards truth. Many use sexuality as a distraction and a way to completely avoid real, interconnected intimacy rather than expend energy cultivating it – this due to innate fears within cultivated and interpreted as something to avoid.

To many are fearful of gazing deep, transcending, transfiguring and holding the depths of who we are in each other. We often begin the process of connecting energetically and gazing profoundly in to each other’s eyes and then it becomes physically overwhelming and rather than coming back to breath, silence, stillness, grace and love, we lose ourselves in wild, fast, penetrative and passionate sexual engagement that continues to distract us from depth of spiritual intimacy.

We engage in shallow, genital sex because it is too frightening and too intense to go the deeper route of full body and full spiritual orgasmic connection. This form of physically focused sex is not ‘bad’ at all, but please do know that there is far more than just this immediate self-gratifying act.

Sexuality is a gateway to greater experiences that involve our innate ability to transcend pain, fear and doubt and emerge in to strength, sexual clarity & union and ultimately, cosmic wisdom.

If we do not explore these states we will continue to build boundaries of resistance around the unknown and we will continue to remain in ignorance and by default suffer incessantly.

Our Sexual History

Our sexual history affects every aspect of our being. Our physicality is an extension of our spirituality. Who we have been and what we have experienced in life around sexuality will remain with us unless we equilibrate and neutralise the energy around this and begin to BE different.

There are times when it is painful to dig up the past and immerse ourselves in sexual shame and guilt, because we have judged ourselves harshly and it is sometimes easier for those experiences to remain in the shadow self. No matter how much violation this deepened exploration of self requires be fully present, assume complete ownership of who you are and who you have been so that you may transcend this useless state of toxic feeling around your past. Every experience is an opportunity to grow and expand – please take it as so.

Sacred Sexuality As Vibratory Energy

Sexuality has been promoted as something that rests in the realm of domination / submission or superior / inferior (in this context in a negative connotation). Throughout history the sexual autonomy of women has been brutally taken away from them, and as a by-product also removing them from a greater propensity and capacity to spiritually ascend by bonding with healthy men to engage in sacred union in beautifully profound and sensual togetherness.

The Sacred Feminine Must Choose

Women were advised that sexuality was something they had to undergo in order to serve the primal needs of men and that they had no control over their own birthing process. This has become more prevalent in modernity today. We only need to closely observe our modern health care systems and the gender roles placed in hierarchy within a system that realistically systemically and covertly allows little autonomy towards women. And when a women chooses to embrace her sacred femininity and right to choose she is often ostracised and feared in to coming back to what is considered ‘normality’.

This is important for ALL OF US to grasp for it is a sacred aspect of sacred union and bonding and we must understand that equity in this space will assist us to all grow and begin to set the precedent for the future of our connected collective consciousness.

The ability to choose life consciously and our ability to hold a deliberate intention is what brings the experience of love and divine connection in to and to our being. Imagine for a moment that the gender dynamics the last few thousand years were completely different and that there was greater autonomy, equity, reverence, trust, balance and homeostasis within partnerships – how would our world look if we held deep consciousness around sacred sexuality for the divine feminine both of Earth and all sentient beings?

Wholeness In Partnership

The discovery of the highest frequency of sexuality stems from our ability to love deeply ourselves first and then others. It has nothing to do with relationships being either homosexual or heterosexual. It has to do with two human / spiritual beings providing deep and authentic pleasure to one another in a way that opens frequencies of consciousness and profound connected awareness. It is time to release our collective ideas of what is proper and what is improper within sexual expression.

Love is the pure essence that is to be cultivated from a place of heart (Anahata in Sanskrit) in all relationships.

When we choose to merge deeply in to each other we are ultimately choosing to expand the fullness of who we are.

We stated earlier that this path can be laden with immense challenge, but when we choose to grow for the sake of our growth and to move beyond our past pains and repetitive stories (not easy) we are ultimately committing to the highest form of love that exists (that of source consciousness).

Sacred sexuality is one path to take in order to allow us to connect at depth with source consciousness. If you love, revere, respect, trust and honour another, it does not matter what your composition of density is. What matters is the purity and the clarity of the love vibration you hold within yourself and how you choose to transparently explore this love with another.

Final Thoughts

Idyllically, deepened sacred sexuality is explored holistically through our hearts, our feeling bodies, the essence of self and our minds. Our Anahata chakra will ultimately connect us to the emotional, empathetic, connected and compassionate self, which will draw us closer to a more enlightened version of ourselves. This profound spiritual self is the part of us that is multidimensional through which we exist in many forms simultaneously across multiple time and space domains. Remember, sexuality is an opportunity to explore and grow beyond our wildest dreams.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author