Shadow Alert

I have a confession. It’s very real for me and has been for some time. This morning I realized the potency of my being and my behaviour…

For many years, intensified violence and aggression were my go-to. I carried internal rage and suppressed trauma that often (not always) expressed itself in physical violence, drunkenness and self-loathing.

Many experiences this, particularly men. We are told our sadness and fears are not welcome (often by other unhealthy men and society) so we repress. And often we tell ourselves a story that it’s not safe to express.

Let me be clear! There is a time and a place for emotion. Being leaky is not healthy either. The issue is most men go to the extreme of suppression. It’s time to shift that. So, when I ceased to act in violence I still didn’t deal with my “stuff”. You know the stuff buried deep that we do don’t want to face.

And in doing so my anger leaked out on other ways. I was sharp and cutting with my words. Passive-aggressive, mean, nasty, sarcastic, I used my intellect to hurt and overcompensated because I wasn’t being physically angry so my verbal and emotional were amped up. And the realization I had this morning after a deep meditation as I was putting on my socks is that I still have a propensity to be that person.

This saddened me, I felt shame and judgement towards myself for all the people I have hurt because that little boy within was still scared and needed protection and I hadn’t given it to him. And at the same time enlightened me. Because for the first time in this way I owned it at this level and it was empowering because now I can shift this next layer of minutia that resides within me.

Also, the truth is I am far more gentle and patient and loving now. I need to own this also and the energy that I am in the world. I have deep visions for service and I need to own all sides of who I am. I feel we all do…

I invite you. What are you willing to embrace in your life right here and right now?

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

Through Thick and Thin

Take your relationship to new frontiers often. Travel, discover new ways to surprise each other, dress differently, speak differently, dance together, learn a language and NEVER GIVE UP on the new that can be created in your sacred union.

The Authentic Art Of Courting

When courting or in the pursuit of intimate relationship we place the grandest version of ourselves forward. We present what we perceive to be the what the ‘other’ desires, needs or wants…

Our Unspoken Hurt – The Promise Of Wordless Understanding

  Stef Sifandos Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker     In the womb, our every need was organically met. We...

Compliment Your Heart, Not Your Ego

The ego plays an important role in our development of self, our socialization and our connection to the ‘outside’ world.

However, when we consistently choose the ego over the expansive power of the heart we become unbalanced.

Ego protects us from a vantage point of fear, contraction and minimizing the true self. ‘It’ (being us and a part of us) still has a directive of self-preservation.

The Authentic Art Of Courting

When courting or in the pursuit of intimate relationship we place the grandest version of ourselves forward. We present what we perceive to be the what the ‘other’ desires, needs or wants…

Share This