Shadow Alert

I have a confession. It’s very real for me and has been for some time. This morning I realized the potency of my being and my behaviour…

For many years, intensified violence and aggression were my go-to. I carried internal rage and suppressed trauma that often (not always) expressed itself in physical violence, drunkenness and self-loathing.

Many experiences this, particularly men. We are told our sadness and fears are not welcome (often by other unhealthy men and society) so we repress. And often we tell ourselves a story that it’s not safe to express.

Let me be clear! There is a time and a place for emotion. Being leaky is not healthy either. The issue is most men go to the extreme of suppression. It’s time to shift that. So, when I ceased to act in violence I still didn’t deal with my “stuff”. You know the stuff buried deep that we do don’t want to face.

And in doing so my anger leaked out on other ways. I was sharp and cutting with my words. Passive-aggressive, mean, nasty, sarcastic, I used my intellect to hurt and overcompensated because I wasn’t being physically angry so my verbal and emotional were amped up. And the realization I had this morning after a deep meditation as I was putting on my socks is that I still have a propensity to be that person.

This saddened me, I felt shame and judgement towards myself for all the people I have hurt because that little boy within was still scared and needed protection and I hadn’t given it to him. And at the same time enlightened me. Because for the first time in this way I owned it at this level and it was empowering because now I can shift this next layer of minutia that resides within me.

Also, the truth is I am far more gentle and patient and loving now. I need to own this also and the energy that I am in the world. I have deep visions for service and I need to own all sides of who I am. I feel we all do…

I invite you. What are you willing to embrace in your life right here and right now?

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Signs You Are In Your Shadow Masculine

This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.

The Empowering Transience Of Death

“I truly wonder if I can capture what I am actually feeling and experiencing here – I shall attempt to…” There is great power and tempo in death. Let us begin with the death of a loved one. The physical passing of those we are emotionally bonded to at a depth that supersedes our understanding of life itself…

Initiate, Connect, Feel

Too many of us hide behind our wounding. We are not present and we are running on a program of what we think others or society want us to be and do. The truth is, when we behave like this we are non-committal, distant and we perceive ourselves to be fractured.

The Innate Mystery Of The Divine Woman

There is a great mystery that permeates our consciousness and that is the mystery of the creative energy. As a society, we have shunned what we do not understand…

Step Into The Light

I spent most of my life living in the dark. Either pretending I had no shadow or only wanting to focus on my “good side”. And even now, when feeling extreme pressure or convenient I revert to that place. Whether it is a new year, decade, month or day. I am making a choice right here and right now. That choice is to stop polarizing and start embracing all of me, not just the convenient parts.

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