Rejection is painful, it stops us in our tracks, paralyses us and pulls us into a vortex of lower self-worth. Rejection keeps us playing small in life, forgetting who we truly are, what we are capable of and what matters.

The fear of experiencing rejection stops us from being submerged in unity, closeness or intimacy. The fear of possibly not being approved loved or seen by another stops us from taking action and listening to our heart’s deepest desires.

The fear of not being liked by another that we perceive matters to us shatters us. We project that possible future pain into the present and we become paralysed with fear.

The thought of possible rejection forces us to be inauthentic, fake and even lie. To pretend to be someone else in order to appease, people please and not disappoint others in order to feel safer in gestures.

We fear judgment, humiliation and ridicule under the guise of who we are being rejected by those we care about. This is a sad place to be. This becomes lonely. We drown in this isolation, never feeling understood or even appreciated.

I personally lost so much of myself because I was scared to risk humiliation or not being in the “in-group” with the cool kids. I sacrificed my truth because I projected deep fear and loss into the present moment.

The opportunity is to feel the possible rejection and know at that moment two things.

1…Rejection is less about you and more about another’s values and personal preferences outside of who and what you are.

2…Every time you hold back, pretend, be false and maximise the needs of others, you lose part of who you truly are.

Apply for that job, ask that boy or girl out, buy that one-way ticket, start that business, tell your person you love them and open your heart to the world. Rejection is a part of life, a teacher and sometimes a blessing. When we act courageously through the fear of rejection we experience joy.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author