A New Way To Look At Anger

When we pursue what we value with tenacity, unparalleled focus and a mindset of resilience we learn more about ourselves, our capacity and our power than almost any other means of self-discovery.

Let’s redefine aggression for a moment. Let’s look at aggression as inspired relentlessness. It’s a fuel source that sources our highest expression in to the world. Now, raw aggression in times of absolute survival is a different concept.

Let’s take the energy, essence and momentum of this raw aggression (fight mode) and bring that in that which we love minus the harm and protect at any cost. When we do this we harnessing tremendous creative power.

Must we be ‘aggressive’ all of the time in relation to our creativity and passions? No, it’s simply one modality of being in the world. The issue is the essence of raw aggression is under-utilized because there is an immediate association with harm.

It leaves an ill taste on our mouths. It’s an extreme expression, however! If we remove the intent of survival, self-preservation and protection at any cost and leverage the momentum of this power for creative use we change the world.

In the past and presently aggression is immediately associated with violence and oppression and in most cases that would be correct. I’m asking us to reframe and redirect. There is great freedom, evolution and revelation in this.

More importantly, we transform ourselves…. okay, so how do we channel this power? How do we transmute it in to a constructive force, you may ask? Simple, it comes down to three things.

1… Know yourself – know how you react, respond, your beliefs that underpin your actions, your why, your willingness to traverse difficulty, what are your values? Know all of that which you are so you be robust in varied situations that require you to be agile and nimble in posture.

2… Your intention – be clear on why you are you choosing to act in particular way. Get clear on how your healthy aggression will give what you need AND enhance the lives of others.

3… Doing the work – you’ve got to go deep in to you. You have to know your edges. You must challenge yourself and nowhere your fault points are. Doing the work means being willing to explore the uncertainty and the discomfort that resides within you.

Ultimately, the channeling of this healthy power will add another tool to your tool belt of life.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Suicide Is Never An Option

We call suicide selfish. Most men do not see it this way. Men isolate and are isolated for many reasons. People who genuinely feel loved and needed rarely commit suicide. Men are more likely to commit suicide returning from war, being unemployed, isolated in life, losing their life savings or if they become incapacitated. Man need love – from women, tribe/community, his children and himself.

Masculine Sexual Health

If we do not choose to connect deeply to those we share our sexual energy with, then who are we, why are we and what are we to ourselves? There is nothing ‘wrong’ with hedonistic urges and practices. This is a beautiful place to be and is necessary for us as men to explore in order to initially define ourselves, our needs, values and postures…

How To Create Deeper Intimacy & Explosive Sex

There are a million one ways to create connection and depth in relationship. I could go deep in to techniques, secrets and the subtleties of behaviour and human interaction and the reality is if we don’t explore ourselves first and are willing to venture in to the unknown, it’s a fruitless task.

Something that is massively overlooked in our world today is selflessness and giving. Moving beyond the first stage of intimate relating of selfishness and a focus of “what can I get from this relationship”, in to: “what can I give to this relationship”?

My Unhealthy Shadow Relationship To Food

Men experience food addictions and body issues too. I used food as a means to escape. To leave my reality. It made me feel good. I felt connected, alive and SAFE with food. Food, like the movies, would momentarily take me away from a place that was violent, volatile and what felt to be unsafe.

Home in Retrospect

It has been really difficult being back here “home”… What is home? It has changed for me so much. The last few years have been turbulent, revealing, painful, healing and empowering. Being back in this place has disorientated me in many ways.
Yes, it has been nurturing to my soul, my dear friends, blessed life long connections, family and loved ones, yet I feel displaced. Have you ever been somewhere that felt so familiar, yet you feel you didn’t belong anymore? I am here.


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