10 Ways Spirituality Will Save Your Relationship – Part II

In part I we delved deep in to the 10 ways having a spiritual practice and being ‘spiritual’ could serve, save and harmonise your relationships in such a way that you would grow, feel connected and effectively completely overhaul and dramatically improve the quality of your life and love. 

In this article we explore the background to spiritual practice and we also observe the supporting postures, frameworks and beliefs behind our actions. We also go deeper in to the reasons for spirituality and we define it in context to our relationships – this context provides us with deeper insight in to the fullness of who we are how we move through the world.

The Depth Of Spirituality

Spirituality is more than just a notion of how we should behave, or what we may experience. Spirituality is embedded in our every day existence; it is an intricate part of our conscious awareness of self, of life, of our environment. Our spirituality allows us to connect and to be present to all of life.

Many scholars, great minds and hearts would even say that

“We are spiritual beings having a human experience”.

Let’s define spirituality ‘broadly’ in order to connect more profoundly to it.

Defining Spirituality

The spiritual self is one of the four ‘human bodies’ and here the spiritual symbolises our capacity to contemplate life, existence and consciousness beyond our own ‘singular-selves’. The spiritual is a gateway to expressing knowledge we do not quite understand, it allows us to move deeply in to more of an individual practice that resonates with having a deepened sense of peace and purpose.

When we come from a place of deep spiritual reverence and connectedness in relationship it allows us to connect profoundly to our partners, to their needs, to their core values, their yearning’s and their pains. Being open to the unseen, the unheard and the unknown allows us to bond deeper to our beloved and it is in this place of ‘extended empathy and compassion’ that we are able to love and care with such great authentic power.

Spirituality also relates to the process of creating (ideally malleable) beliefs around the meaning of our lives and the connection we have relationally to all facets of the world. It also includes our relationship with our consciousness – the Super Conscious aspect of our Mind, our ‘Higher Mind’.

The (self aware) omnipresent, connected force that represents and permeates all existence, in the form of a powerful, manifesting and creative intelligent consciousness.

There are various types of spirituality and it is important to simply understanding the expressions that exist. Does it mean we must categorise and lock ourselves in one, any or many of them? The answer is no, it simply assists us to understand what expression we resonate with most and how that aligns with our beliefs and behaviours in that moment.

Spirituality is also used as a way of gaining perspective in life. Realising that there is life, meaning and value beyond the physical. This does not mean that the material world has no value or even a lesser value; it simply means that contemplation of concepts, constructs and ideas beyond our current understanding also has great value.

Deep spiritual contemplation can separate us from dependence on material things and establish a greater sense of purpose and meaning, it has capacity to grant us perspective on life’s challenges and life’s uncertainty, in turn providing us with coping mechanisms that allow us to move through arduous times with greater intelligibility and precision; coming out the other end with a sense of expanded wisdom.

Additionally part of being spiritual is engaging deeply in devotional practices that form the basis of who we are and how we live our lives. This is inclusive of meditations, focused practices around expanding our consciousness and learning deeper about the complete nature of the human condition / sphere.

Spirituality & Relationships

With a greater connected understanding as to what spirituality is, we can now move in to understanding spirituality with respect to relationships. We wish to delve deeply in to how being a particular way that is in alignment with spiritually conscious principles can liberate us from unnecessary suffering in our relationships.

Know that the purpose of these 10 heart and mind opening practices are to place us in a more conscious state of prevention as opposed to a curative, reactive and posture of ‘damage control’. By being conscious, embodying the essence of spirituality and practicing these states allows us to deeper connect to ourselves and the deeper we know ourselves in wholeness, the greater the chance of our relationships flourishing.

What this practice of spirituality do is essentially not allow you to lose yourself in relationship or choose immediate self-gratification practices over long-term gain. When we lose ourselves in relationship we develop resentment, distance ourselves, become emotionally numb or illiterate and disconnect completely from our partner because we just don’t understand.

In traditional relationships, we worry so much about pleasing our partner that we tend to hinder ourselves in that process. This includes everything from life dreams to sexual fantasies. We feel like we cannot express our feelings, desires, and aspirations to our partner for fear of judgement, critique or misunderstanding.

The same can be said about expressing our pasts, fears, and apprehensions (shadow self). We have all been hurt at some point, and we all have our hang-ups. The compromises that we often have to make to maintain a traditional relationship involve making compromises to ourselves. With a sound connected spiritual practice we avoid these pitfalls, remain connected to self and honest with our beloved. In this space we nurture each other’s growth and dreams in unison and oneness.

In Closing

With all of this said, broadening our awareness of self and choosing to consciously connect to our authentic truth and the truth of others is an empowered decision made to effectively grow and expand one’s consciousness. Whether you ‘label’ this spirituality or something else is not too relevant (in this context it is all semantics). Our actions and intentions define who we are. What is further relevant is our intention to give and receive in equanimity; be present to our pervading truths; and be open to fully loving ourselves and our beloved for who they are in their entirety.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author