Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Where Do You Place Your Kindness?

Some of us find it easier to serve a global mission, donate blood, feed a starving village or be physically present at a natural disaster, rebuilding the homes, lives and social structures of others, then to be present to the intimate and immediate needs of a loved one…

To apologize sincerely and simply to our beloved when we (more than likely have acted from unconscious wounding) have hurt them (whilst simultaneously hurting ourselves) is at times near impossible… Why? Why do we struggle to own our pain, actions and behaviours towards others?

What would it take for us to be kind, connected and centred in our approach to others, with respect to how we deal with others, communicate openly and connect with others? What would life feel like if we were pushed to our emotional edge and witnessed and experienced an internal struggle, yet chose to be compassionate and kind?

What if we experienced pain in our mind and heart and as opposed to being unconsciously reactive, we were compassionate and we began with ourselves? What if we looked at the world and the actions of others and we chose to respond to life with kindness, truth and patience?

What if we recognised that others are coming from a place of implicit hurt, internalised frustration and deep pain and at times they are unable to regulate their emotions? What if it was a scream for help, an opportunity for us to show up and simply be kind?

What if in this kindness, we provided a new way of being and feeling for our loved ones and in the process liberated ourselves of our own possible trauma, suffering and addictions to pain? The interesting part of all this is that we are so deeply interconnected that we do not even realise the impact one singular gesture of kindness can hold over a hostile situation.

We are so scared of being kind to those we care for. Being vulnerable can be viewed as being weak. But really, is this truth? Is vulnerability not an opportunity for growth, expressive release and the letting go of tension? To be vulnerable is to feel free, to not be burdened by the tension of not communicating our inner power, to couple this with a sense of safe expression shifts and unlocks paradigms within our own being that were previously restrained by fear and apprehension.

When we choose to place our kindness in our immediate environment and give ourselves to another’s fear, irrespective of how uncomfortable we may feel, we live a more open and inclusive life. A life worthy of embodied pursuit and a life with far less disempowerment.

One is always glad to be of service.

 

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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Sexuality – A Tool For Enlightenment

There are various expressions of our own sexuality that when we explore deeply, we realise are infinite and simultaneously magnificent. We forget that sexuality is not only a physical construct or expression but has the capacity to take us somewhere of depth and realisation…

No Man Is An Island

As men we are inadvertently told and shown that independence reigns supreme and whilst I am a massive advocate for self-reliance, solitude and autonomy we still need each other. We are relational beings and the days of the lone wolf are over. There is a balance and by feeling, we neutralize that pain. We don’t allow the complex layers of our psyche to take over.

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Don’t get caught up in the ignorance and insecurities of others. So often, we are stuck in our own pains and fears and we project this outwardly.

When those in your life display jealousy, ‘put downs’, relentless and thoughtless doubt, nay-saying, antagonistic behavior and looking for and identifying the worst in all that you are and do, it is linked intimately to their own sense of self.

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Of late I have been contemplating deeply the beautiful women I am surrounded by and that are entering my sphere of awareness. The vast women carrying so much depth, wisdom, reverence for men and clarified maturity who are entering my perception is humbling….

The Humble Man To The Sacredness Of Woman

There are awakened, humble and open men in this world WILLING to adore and to revere the sacredness of woman – to lead with prowess and to be open to being lead…

There are awakened and open men ready to SEE the sacredness of woman for who she truly is.

There are awakened and open men who deeply miss the sacredness of woman when she is not near. Not from desperation, but because her essence inspires him profoundly.

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