If we are experiencing a lack of sexual charge in our relationships it could be for many reasons, and we need to get real with what they may be – stress, disinterest, health issues, distractions, priority shifts, distance (emotional and/or physical) and more.

The deeper the difference, the more pronounced the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction occurs in the differences between people. Emotional attraction is developed through “sameness”, connection and rapport. We require both to thrive.

Differences = separateness = sexual attraction (polarity)

Similarities = closeness = emotional attraction

There are 3 types of relationships in polarity:

Low-Polarity: These couples connect deeply and understand each other, however, their sex is not charged.

High-Polarity: These couples have an explosive sex life, but outside of that struggle to communicate and connect emotionally. More than likely this type of dynamic is where unresolved, more than likely unconscious complimentary wounding is butting heads and expressing and releasing through sexual chemistry, but unable to be stable in emotional communication.

Active-Polarity: Where both know how to connect intimately and emotionally and also have the tools to engage in authentic explosive sexual union. This is where we want to be and this can be worked on! THERE IS HOPE!

Whether you’re needing to increase your polarity or decrease the charge to create space for more sustainable emotional intimacy, effort and attention will be required.

Increasing your polarity may look like spontaneity, speaking openly to each other’s sexuality, moving into dominance/submissive techniques, creating space and distance and more.

Decreasing your polarity definitely requires inner work and observing childhood patterns, trauma and wounding and additionally you may wish to actively listen more, allow time to express feelings and learn new things about each other.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author