It can be tough. It often brings out the “worst” in us. We slip into patterns of unworthiness, self-blame, self-pity or even projected aggressiveness. Is it really the worst in us that is coming out or just old coping strategies that we are still using to deal with something that is extremely uncomfortable?

The answer is we are not bad and depending on how we have coped and dealt with trauma or difficulty in the past will inform how we deal with it in the present. Unless of course, we get clear on HOW we want to be with life.

If we carry unresolved and unconscious wounding then our inner child is hyper-protective and runs the show. Any sign of being hurt and the old protective strategies come out and we are being run by programs of the past. They worked then, we’re still alive, they must be applicable now also, right? Not necessarily. What worked then to keep us alive can hinder our growth now. Keeps us stuck in a cycle of survival and doesn’t have us growing into new versions of ourselves.

It’s these coping strategies that also keep us addicted to creating and attracting the same drama that we are familiar with so that our coping strategies can survive. Our psyche and body think that if we are expressing our protective strategies then we are safe and the only way to do that is to have a reason for them to be played out.

With awareness, we have the choice to tell ourselves we are safe and that we deserve a better life. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves after experiencing trauma is essential for our growth.

You need to see a version of yourself that doesn’t need to continue to attract drama because you are worth more!

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author