Trauma Recovery In Relationship

It can be tough. It often brings out the “worst” in us. We slip into patterns of unworthiness, self-blame, self-pity or even projected aggressiveness. Is it really the worst in us that is coming out or just old coping strategies that we are still using to deal with something that is extremely uncomfortable?

The answer is we are not bad and depending on how we have coped and dealt with trauma or difficulty in the past will inform how we deal with it in the present. Unless of course, we get clear on HOW we want to be with life.

If we carry unresolved and unconscious wounding then our inner child is hyper-protective and runs the show. Any sign of being hurt and the old protective strategies come out and we are being run by programs of the past. They worked then, we’re still alive, they must be applicable now also, right? Not necessarily. What worked then to keep us alive can hinder our growth now. Keeps us stuck in a cycle of survival and doesn’t have us growing into new versions of ourselves.

It’s these coping strategies that also keep us addicted to creating and attracting the same drama that we are familiar with so that our coping strategies can survive. Our psyche and body think that if we are expressing our protective strategies then we are safe and the only way to do that is to have a reason for them to be played out.

With awareness, we have the choice to tell ourselves we are safe and that we deserve a better life. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves after experiencing trauma is essential for our growth.

You need to see a version of yourself that doesn’t need to continue to attract drama because you are worth more!

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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The Silent Killer

We all want love. We all wish to be deeply connected. Sentience, intelligence, wisdom permeates all of us.

This yearning to be seen and to belong, to feel intimate connection courses through the essence of all that we are, have been and will ever be.

Irrespective of ‘humaneness’, sentience wishes to expand through connected union.

The Truthful Gaze

It can be difficult to honor ourselves. Self-love and self-honoring haven’t been a priority for the collective. We have become more accustomed to obsessing as opposed to healthy honor and worship of others instead of ourselves.

What if we could use the act of HEALTHY worship of another to provide us with deep insight in to our own worth? What if the healthy, non-attached, compassionate, wise and cosmic worship of another allowed us to see our worthiness and value?

Shadow Sexual Desire

We all have sex. Most of us adore sex. Most of us crave it, yet many of us do not know what we truly want when it comes to our sexual desires or fantasies. Our sexual fantasies often remain in the imagination because we are too fearful to explore the meaning of them.

The Great Divide

Space… The great divide. I am not speaking to the space we may know as outer space, the cosmos or the universe. I am referring to the space we require in relationships. We forget the utter importance of what space provides us.
Space is a bridge. Attraction, eroticism, connection and intimacy not only comes from closeness, but it comes from space, distance and a yearning to be in each other’s presence. And the creation of space is an “art”. Too much and one is perhaps forgotten, not often enough and one may feel suffocated and the loss of magnetism.

The Passage Of Manhood

A message to men for all – of course this applies to all of us. Divine Women, please know the intricacies of this journey so that you may be served also by the deep growth of men…

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