The Talk To Trauma

We speak a great deal to the wounds of the past, the pain we have experienced ‘growing up’. We can be debilitated unknowingly by the pain we harbour within because we have been unable to release the tension certain experiences have caused us – the feeling of an endless mountain looms ahead.

We hold on to (again, unconsciously) patterns of reactive response that the body intrinsically knows will keep us safe. The ‘problem’ is that these behavioural habituated patterns are no longer valid or necessary to our real life and current circumstances.

So, what to do (there is at times much to do)? Who to be when all we have known for so long are these response patterns? These beliefs around who we need to be to keep ourselves sane and safe influence deeply our adult relationships, thoughts and communication.

How do we shift what has been so prominent and so pertinent in our lives? Something that has defined us and how do we come to know what we do not know? It begins with self-awareness and attention to the patterns of the way we relate in life. Do we notice repetitive pain points, reactions or behaviours that are isolating, distancing, threatening or suppressive for us?

Now, the pain with all of this exploration and exposure is that it may unearth some serious pain mixed with some serious fear – This can be understood as a possible set of deeply distressing and disturbing experiences – trauma.

We need to seek support, expertise and guidance of those we trust, respect and revere. Those who can facilitate a journey of transformation and transmutation of the old in to the new. Those who can assist us in redefining and re-contextualizing our experiences so that we may view the past from a more open perspective to liberate us from our traumatic stress.

There is of course more than this – the psyche is layered, protective, intelligent and the brain – if catching a glimpse of a pattern that has caused harm in the past will autonomically deploy protective strategies. This, however can be overkill in a world and environment that is now ‘safe’.

To shift we must dig (sometimes excavate) and we must also envision, dream, project a more refined, joyous, free future. Feel this, be this, embody this and live this completely. Know that the past needn’t dictate our future and know that liberation is possible and restriction, aversion and loss needn’t be the norm.

You are ready. Go within. Leverage love, external help, inner strength, power and tenacity. Yes, you can and in doing so you are contributing to the cohesive fabric of social evolution.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

LATEST BLOGS

The World I Have Come To Know

As I sit and watch, observe the world around me behave, watching my nephews eat and people stroll, walk and run past I can’t help but to feel the world around me…

Ever since I was a child I could really FEEL the world, people and their pain. I would feel their pain in order to not feel alone in the world. I also experienced so much of it myself that I wanted to help others with their pain.

How To Make Sure You Don’t Lose Your Connection In Your Relationship

Healthy, intimate and bonded connection in relationship is one of the most important contributing factors in the experiential quality and sustainability of any partnership. To have meaningful and real connection means to have a relationship that is empowering, open, communicative and authentic…

The Nurturing Nature Of Divine Presence

Whilst the feminine in all her fluidity, differentiating postures, flowing nature, open and unpredictable expression and mystery is known for her uncertain movement through life there is something we can be deeply certain about…

Learn to say NO

…and at times YES… To really say no is one of the most challenging practices.

How often do you honor your no for the sake of your own needs and not be attached to what others may think of you or how they may react? In my life I have largely oscillated between either keeping completely quiet and withdrawing when I want to vocalize my truth or if I do express its in an extreme manner.

Transference – How Good Are You At It?

Attempting to understand this type of behaviour according to a superficial or face value view will only confuse us and distance us form ourselves and our loved ones…

[fbcomments]
Share This