The Expansive Masculine

When my mother sent me old pictures of when I was child, my heart opened and memories came flooding back to me. I saw an innocent little boy with a massive smile on his face.

Yet the happy times were outweighed massively by the sadness and fear I experienced. Overtime that little boy learned that closing down his heart was the best way to protect himself. Then he grew up to be a man that was shut down because of a his pain.

Sound familiar?

Men, we weren’t born hard and shut down. Our hearts were wide open and full of both strength and compassion. Yet for so may of us, fear and judgement led to us shutting off our hearts. We were told to “be a big boy” “man up” and “be good”. Our feelings were not encouraged to be expressed, vulnerability was weakness.

I recall in my life the ostracism associated with expressing and communicating truth, honesty and emotion. I was perceived as weak if I showed the world I was vulnerable or fearful. I’d be considered weak, not capable and not worthy.

We define ourselves so much by how others perceive us, this is one of the ways the ego locks us in to fear states. From here, we slowly retract and cease to show the world who we truly are – always attempting to love to the standards of others. Family, friends, external ideals, society and culture.

Our heart becomes retracted and we learn to ‘survive’ by further defining the essence of our power through our ‘activity’, productivity and possessions. We unlearn how to emote and we become dismal in our minds.

When our hearts are beautifully open and expansive as men we are compassionate, we thrive and develop our sense of self and thrive on the act of giving, because we feel full from our own love directed outward to the world as opposed to relying on others to make us feel worthy.

When our hearts are open the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world are endearing, friendly, encompassing, inclusive and connected. Not disjointed and painful.

When man opens his heart fully he has essentially reached a status of elevation that supersedes the mundane. To open the heart is to expand fully in to life.

To not retract, to not resist, to not live from obligation, judgment and resentment. One of man’s greatest challenges has been to live more from the heart.

When we couple our compassion with our natural propensity to be strong, present, stable, resourceful and resilient we grow. We become men who know our inherent value and then deliver more value to the world.

The next stage of our evolution is integrating and weaving the connected and compassionate heart in to all that we are with out ‘losing’ or minimizing our masculinity.

This is the next level man. To be a f*****g powerhouse of love and connected strength. Insight, foresight and presence. And no, this is not a pipe dream. This is unraveling!

Are you ready to join the revolution?

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author