Suicide Is Never An Option

It wasn’t that long ago where I was fighting suicide. Loss of my businesses, relationship, status, honor, friendships and identity had me feeling worthless, deep shame and isolation.

I felt “not enough” and that I was being a burden to those that loved me. I created stories about who I was, what people thought of me and that my life was worthless.

I wasn’t alone in this. Men are the more likely sex to commit suicide. The 3 top reasons are:

  1. Rejected in love (from other or self)
  2. Lack of friends or social support
  3. Lack of respect from family and others

We call suicide selfish. Most men do not see it this way. Men isolate and are isolated for many reasons. People who genuinely feel loved and needed rarely commit suicide. Men are more likely to commit suicide returning from war, being unemployed, isolated in life, losing their life savings or if they become incapacitated. Man needs love – from women, tribe/community, his children and himself.

Men feel by killing themselves they are killing the burden, therefore suicide is more an act of love than an act of selfishness. Women are actually more likely to attempt suicide, men are more successful at it. Why? Many men also have a need to send warning signals, but their belief of isolation and that they have no right to ask others to rescue them from disaster, has them feeling that they brought this on themselves (a systemic and cultural issue).

Couple that with a fear of failure and feeling weak, men suffer silently and feel they have no one to go to. This isn’t about positioning men as victims and women as having it easy. It is bringing another perspective to an issue that is hurting all of us.

I felt this pain several times throughout my life and I’m blessed to be here today, able to share what I did and who I had to become within myself to be who I am – healthier, more connected, more resilient, open-hearted, worthy, and clear.

So many of us don’t get this opportunity. My invitation is compassion, care and connection. That was partly what saved me, still having those around me that saw me when I couldn’t see myself. I love you and thank you.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Seeking External Validation

Ever feel like that? Like enough is never enough? Feels good for a minute or a few days and then you feel empty again? The iPhone is great for a couple of weeks and then you’re wondering what’s next? The brand new BMW is great for a month but then the novelty wears off. Then what… This can be true for so many of us and can be a hard pill to swallow. The incessant pursuit of validation or wanting to feel full through gaining more, having more and relying on how others perceive us can be a painful journey.

The Authentic Art Of Courting

When courting or in the pursuit of intimate relationship we place the grandest version of ourselves forward. We present what we perceive to be the what the ‘other’ desires, needs or wants…

The Sacred & Compelling Power of Monogamy

There has always been an integral part of me that has valued the nature of deep shared intimate connection. A connection that takes us on an intertwining journey. In this article we explore the innate and powerful value of monogamy as a source of growth…

Making Peace With Our Destiny

When we make peace with the parts of our lives that challenge our will and reality, we soften in to the power that is life. We often attach ourselves to the idea of what we are ‘meant to be’, who we are meant to be, what we are meant to be, how we are meant to feel and why we are here…

The Place Beyond Knowing

There is a place – a space that occupies the sub structures of our minds that resides beyond the conscious self.

This place is what we do not know, what we are not aware of and what is not familiar.

It is here in this place where there is so much that we know, yet are unaware of. Here, there is a story being constructed that we are architecting, it has no idea.

Share This