Suicide Is Never An Option

It wasn’t that long ago where I was fighting suicide. Loss of my businesses, relationship, status, honor, friendships and identity had me feeling worthless, deep shame and isolation.

I felt “not enough” and that I was being a burden to those that loved me. I created stories about who I was, what people thought of me and that my life was worthless.

I wasn’t alone in this. Men are the more likely sex to commit suicide. The 3 top reasons are:

  1. Rejected in love (from other or self)
  2. Lack of friends or social support
  3. Lack of respect from family and others

We call suicide selfish. Most men do not see it this way. Men isolate and are isolated for many reasons. People who genuinely feel loved and needed rarely commit suicide. Men are more likely to commit suicide returning from war, being unemployed, isolated in life, losing their life savings or if they become incapacitated. Man needs love – from women, tribe/community, his children and himself.

Men feel by killing themselves they are killing the burden, therefore suicide is more an act of love than an act of selfishness. Women are actually more likely to attempt suicide, men are more successful at it. Why? Many men also have a need to send warning signals, but their belief of isolation and that they have no right to ask others to rescue them from disaster, has them feeling that they brought this on themselves (a systemic and cultural issue).

Couple that with a fear of failure and feeling weak, men suffer silently and feel they have no one to go to. This isn’t about positioning men as victims and women as having it easy. It is bringing another perspective to an issue that is hurting all of us.

I felt this pain several times throughout my life and I’m blessed to be here today, able to share what I did and who I had to become within myself to be who I am – healthier, more connected, more resilient, open-hearted, worthy, and clear.

So many of us don’t get this opportunity. My invitation is compassion, care and connection. That was partly what saved me, still having those around me that saw me when I couldn’t see myself. I love you and thank you.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



To Honour Is To Create Together

“When I truly honoured myself, I was able to honour women”…

In this life I have been blessed to transform many times over. There have been times where I have delved deep in to my own self solo and in isolation. There have been times when I have been deeply supported by other brothers. And there have been times where I have been guided by the divine presence of the feminine.

The Power Of Belief In Relationship

If you don’t believe in yourself or your beloved, you will never grow and be in consistent friction within your own mindscape and your dynamic with each other.

‘Fighting’ The Resistance

Do you feel unsafe in your life? To feel safe, immerse in the unsafe, familiarise yourself with this state so that it no longer becomes the unknown. Make the uncomfortable deeply comfortable and from here you will flourish….

The Honouring Of Life Creation

There lies tremendous beauty in the recognition of what it means to be fully connected to the creation energy. We all have great reverent capacity to create, however there is something unique about the women in our lives and their ability to create.

I will never claim to know this very specific form of creation energy through the feeling body of a woman.

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  Stef Sifandos Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker     In the womb, our every need was organically met. We...
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