What Is Your Goal in Sexual Union?

Purely orgasmic-orientated sex keeps us in a vicious and addictive cycle of emptiness and incompleteness that requires “refilling.” Keeping us stuck in perpetual desire and release. Everything we now do drives us to maintain these unsustainable peak experiences, further distracting us from true deeper Union.

This obsessive desire to explosively ejaculate and orgasm becomes our crux. It becomes so addictive and we base so much on who we are and our value in this event, that like a drug we crave and need more of it to function. We then become monotone in our sexual expression. Experiencing only superficial connection masked as depth.

We equate the short-lasting peak experience to the be-all and end-all of the human potential. We are sadly mistaken. There is nothing wrong with orgasm. We have just been conditioned to believe that this is all there is. The truth is that there is more to us.

Exploration of the self and the other allows us to know ourselves at a greater capacity. We avoid this because part of that knowledge is not flavored sweetly. It is confronting. It is heavy and painful. We fear it and therefore fear ourselves and therefore distract with convenient peak experiences.

Take the time to relax the nervous system, the mind, and the heart. Slow the exploration of the other and yourself down. Be in the moment and do not attach your sexual exploration to an “outcome” that must be complete in its revolution.

For me, when I have slowed down and gazed deeply into the beloved that knows and sees me I have simultaneously come face to face with bliss and pain. The pain of being seen has been foreign to me and has revealed layers of pain from the past.

Layers to be witnessed and released. But breaking through that initial layer of the fear of intimacy has been difficult. Why, because intimacy has been dangerous for me in the past and I spent most of my life in superficial sexual interaction attempting to make the pain and avoid the truth of release.

We don’t like change as humans… And would rather remain in the pain of the unknown than enter the fear of the unknown…

What are you willing to face within yourself? 

One is glad to be of service

STEFANOS SIFANDOS
Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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Self-identity Versus Gender

Biological sex and gender are more fixed and defined. However, self-identity is more fluid and subjective.

This is a controversial topic in this day and age. When we look at gonadal, hormonal, genetic, genital, and chromosomal sex and gender are we not more defined?

What appears to be more flexible is the way we see ourselves, internally and psychologically identify and desire others to see us.

The Penetrative Man

Masculine penetration is GIVING of oneself to the world with presence, posture, confidence and certainty. In order to do this and be this in the world we must know and importantly, trust ourselves.

Man is penetrative by nature. Part of his core essence is to penetrate deeply in to the world. To penetrate with his gaze, his heart, his soul, his mind, his breath, his posture, his presence and his sexuality.

Role-mate Or Soul-mate?

A role-mate is born of desperation, survival and fear. We get together to survive, not thrive. We don’t share deep values, we are here to serve primal needs only. Our intimacy is empty and scarce. We base our relationships on convenient agreements of doing in the world. Soul-mates come together to thrive, expand their connection to self, each other and the world. They are here to grow and explore their sexuality, spirituality, contributions and more. They are clear that they are here to serve the greater good of society and themselves. Which are you???

The Sacred Invitation

There is something magnificent about the human gaze… Particularly that of a woman. She is able to show so much of who she is, what has been and what will be.

As men, it is an honour to witness the sacredness of the gaze. This invitation into the soul and essence of a woman’s world liberate us from overthinking.

The Richness Of Union

There is a richness that accompanies commitment. When we commit to the intertwining of all the expressions of self, we grow in to a more encompassed and complete version of who we have always been.

The intertwining of our sexual sacredness may only transpire if we are open to receiving and giving in equanimity. Our sexual energy may only flow when we are free of shame and when we have chosen to commit without inhibition. To be SEEN for all that we are.

START WITH YOUR LOVE BLOCKS

Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

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