Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Ravage The ‘Dark’

A message to all men…

Ravage, relish in and be fully present to all faces, sides and expressions of the feminine prowess and power. To be present to all that she is means you are willing to traverse the depths of being to truly know her and in turn, truly know yourself.

We all want the light, the easy, the accessible, the pleasant and the beautiful. What we perceive as beautiful in our society can be at times polarized. We are not fond of the dark. It is unknown, scary and makes us feel unsafe.

So we repress it and push it away. But there is so much value and compressed insight and power here. The reality is we cannot have the ‘light’ without the ‘dark’. To know the dark is to the fullness of self and to know the spectrum, range and power of the woman you hold close.

To only know her ‘light and easy side’ is to not know her at all. The dark needn’t be acquainted with pain, fear, dismay and extremity. The dark may entail the hidden, the shy or the unknown. There is not a connotation of ‘bad’ attached to the dark – it is more the unrevealed self and hence, unfamiliar terrain.

However, like any avid explorer, as men we submerge in to the chasms of exploration and feel fully the experience we have chosen to embark upon. Rarely has a traversed climb up treacherous mountain sides been light and easy. But it has been very well worth the journey taken.

A woman’s darkness is her power, as is her lightness. Her ability to be seen in both postures is a gift we experience when we remove ourselves from judgement. To love fully, is to know wholly and completely.

How can you truly know and feel the woman you sleep beside if you have not ravaged her in darkness? If you have not allowed yourself to be seen for all the aspects and parts that are you?

How can you lead yourself if you are fractured within? And like any intimate relationship, how can you fully know your beloved without seeing, feeling and experiencing the many faces that is she?

But how? As men and as a collective society we have moved through much expressive and relational extremity, oppression and shadow. As men, we have lost the collective trust of the beautiful feminine.

It is time for us to step in to and step up to what is required of us in order to create harmony, equilibrium and equitable empowerment. This does not mean placing ‘your proverbial balls in the purse of a woman’. This fear – it is time to eradicate this bulls**t mentality from our collective psyche.

We are here to maintain sovereignty and a healthy masculinity that does not divide and act in fear and in congruent posturing. This now means being present, inclusive, open, transparent – and in honour, awe and reverence of the gift that you are witnessing before you.

We must humble ourselves (deep dive in to humility) and ‘see’ firstly ourselves and then the feminine outside of ourselves with non-judgment and compassion. It is time we ask for inter-generational and collective forgiveness and allow the feminine to be whomever she needs to without restriction, violence and subjugation driven by fear.

The time for hiding our congruent selves and avoiding the authentic and whole expressions of others has come to an end. Men, to hold your woman through the storm, to allow her to see the healthy darkness within you is a mutual gift. No, this does not symbolize losing yourself or dishonoring yourself in this process. It means being a powerhouse of insight and foresight and knowing that this and every process is temporal with much to teach us about connectivity, intimacy and transcendence.

This is a gift that serves all of humanity. This does not imply forcing the pendulum of how we relate to swing Tate other way. Extreme oppression of any form is not constructive nor conducive to the evolution of our consciousness.

It does however mean that we choose to grow in togetherness. Bonded by our willingness to see and feel each other raw, vulnerable, naked in every way and open to what life truly is. Men, it is time we lead with sovereignty and dignity, with curiosity and with safe verticality.

This is my commitment to my own humanity, sovereignty, evolution of self, my beloved (where there is mutual depth and reverence) and this collective consciousness. To see all that I can for what it is, to explore fully all aspects of self and life and to embrace duality in all its glory. I may falter, but I will always come back to this path.

Who is with me?

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Holding Your Partner Through Moon Cycles

Supporting, seeing and holding our women during a sacred time of their lives that symbolises so much wisdom and depth is critical. This is a great time of reflection and process, where we get to celebrate life creation and be present to this.
Our part is to hold, to witness, to ask what is needed and how it is needed. A time to revere, respect and trust. To be ourselves and to show up fuller and take the essence of this love into all other times also. This can be deep teaching of us as men.

Debunking 5 Myths Around Being a Man

Whilst there are many ideas around what it means to be masculine and what it means to be a man in today’s world, many of them are either based on outdated cultural norms or are distorted and unrealistic. Why? Because, we are placing far too much emphasis on what man ‘should’ be in an idealistic sense and not actually placing attention on the gifts of man.

How Repressed Trauma Is Expressed

It’s the stuff that we choose to forget because it’s too painful to remember. Too difficult to face. What we must understand is that these fears and pains that we shove deep down and choose to forget are still there itching and scraping to be heard.

Healing the Goddess Wound

Healing the goddess wound is going to require effort from all of us. The goddess was once revered. Time to bring this honoring back. What is the goddess wound? It is the suppression of the divine potential and value of the feminine expressive that we all require in order to live harmoniously and flourish sexually, socially, relationally and technologically.

Soul Stimulation

Turn your sexual stimulation into “soul stimulation”. YES, please stimulate your physical sexuality AND elevate your soul through your sex.

If your soul embodies all of that which you and that ALL is, then your sex accesses the whole and unified experience that is you. In that moment of divine bliss, there is you, there is the other and there is a merging and blending into wholeness.

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