Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Ravage The ‘Dark’

A message to all men…

Ravage, relish in and be fully present to all faces, sides and expressions of the feminine prowess and power. To be present to all that she is means you are willing to traverse the depths of being to truly know her and in turn, truly know yourself.

We all want the light, the easy, the accessible, the pleasant and the beautiful. What we perceive as beautiful in our society can be at times polarized. We are not fond of the dark. It is unknown, scary and makes us feel unsafe.

So we repress it and push it away. But there is so much value and compressed insight and power here. The reality is we cannot have the ‘light’ without the ‘dark’. To know the dark is to the fullness of self and to know the spectrum, range and power of the woman you hold close.

To only know her ‘light and easy side’ is to not know her at all. The dark needn’t be acquainted with pain, fear, dismay and extremity. The dark may entail the hidden, the shy or the unknown. There is not a connotation of ‘bad’ attached to the dark – it is more the unrevealed self and hence, unfamiliar terrain.

However, like any avid explorer, as men we submerge in to the chasms of exploration and feel fully the experience we have chosen to embark upon. Rarely has a traversed climb up treacherous mountain sides been light and easy. But it has been very well worth the journey taken.

A woman’s darkness is her power, as is her lightness. Her ability to be seen in both postures is a gift we experience when we remove ourselves from judgement. To love fully, is to know wholly and completely.

How can you truly know and feel the woman you sleep beside if you have not ravaged her in darkness? If you have not allowed yourself to be seen for all the aspects and parts that are you?

How can you lead yourself if you are fractured within? And like any intimate relationship, how can you fully know your beloved without seeing, feeling and experiencing the many faces that is she?

But how? As men and as a collective society we have moved through much expressive and relational extremity, oppression and shadow. As men, we have lost the collective trust of the beautiful feminine.

It is time for us to step in to and step up to what is required of us in order to create harmony, equilibrium and equitable empowerment. This does not mean placing ‘your proverbial balls in the purse of a woman’. This fear – it is time to eradicate this bulls**t mentality from our collective psyche.

We are here to maintain sovereignty and a healthy masculinity that does not divide and act in fear and in congruent posturing. This now means being present, inclusive, open, transparent – and in honour, awe and reverence of the gift that you are witnessing before you.

We must humble ourselves (deep dive in to humility) and ‘see’ firstly ourselves and then the feminine outside of ourselves with non-judgment and compassion. It is time we ask for inter-generational and collective forgiveness and allow the feminine to be whomever she needs to without restriction, violence and subjugation driven by fear.

The time for hiding our congruent selves and avoiding the authentic and whole expressions of others has come to an end. Men, to hold your woman through the storm, to allow her to see the healthy darkness within you is a mutual gift. No, this does not symbolize losing yourself or dishonoring yourself in this process. It means being a powerhouse of insight and foresight and knowing that this and every process is temporal with much to teach us about connectivity, intimacy and transcendence.

This is a gift that serves all of humanity. This does not imply forcing the pendulum of how we relate to swing Tate other way. Extreme oppression of any form is not constructive nor conducive to the evolution of our consciousness.

It does however mean that we choose to grow in togetherness. Bonded by our willingness to see and feel each other raw, vulnerable, naked in every way and open to what life truly is. Men, it is time we lead with sovereignty and dignity, with curiosity and with safe verticality.

This is my commitment to my own humanity, sovereignty, evolution of self, my beloved (where there is mutual depth and reverence) and this collective consciousness. To see all that I can for what it is, to explore fully all aspects of self and life and to embrace duality in all its glory. I may falter, but I will always come back to this path.

Who is with me?

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

The Pain Of Change – The Pain Of Control

Most recently I have experienced the pain of change, difference, the unknown and the difficulty that comes with not knowing if life will play out as I wish or foresee it to you.

The battle within with respect to creating a a balance of allowing and not being attached to taking ‘active action’ and being hyper focused – the internal tug of war of contrast and when to play the card of each…

Take Her To God

Remind her that SHE IS a Goddess. Take her to places she never has gone before. Welcome the full expression of her being to permeate the space in which she occupies. Your permission is the congruency and integrity of your presence. You don’t ask for permission, you are permission by your endearing actions and the wisdom that is you.

To Ravage Wildly Begins and Ends With Openness and Trust

For the masculine to take the feminine in to ecstasy, both softness in surrender and authenticity in leadership must transpire. THIS IS DEEPLY ABOUT CONSENT, CONNECTION & MUTUAL TRUST. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SELFISH DOMINANCE OR OPPRESSION.

The Magnetic Holding

There is a calmness that comes from knowing you are held. When a woman knows she is held and seen for who she truly is there is placidity that unravels within the chasms of her heart space.

There is a peacefulness that comes from being known for who you truly are. A peace that tells our bodies we no longer need to pretend. We no longer need to exert so much energy towards the masks of excess protection.

The Awakened Man

We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves that then leaks into our relationships. I remember the moment where I really turned harsh self-judgment on its head. I mean I really got it, viscerally in my body, it dropped like it was there the whole time and I couldn’t see it or even access it.

Share This