Owning Your Edge

Own who and what you are in the world. For a long time I hid away, fearful of being judged. If I wasn’t hiding I was compensating my fear of being seen and judged with a false bravado, inauthentic edge and aggressive entitlement.

When I sank in to the me that chooses to expand from a place of love and openness, I grew. I matured. I felt more and when I ‘did’, I did (took meaningful action) from a place of sincerity, deep intention and clear authority.

We spend so much time worried what others think of us and how they see us. Our self-worth is so tied up in the opinions of others. Most people are actually like you and I. So consumed with their own sense of self that they carry the same worries that you do.

We are not all that different. I remember a time when I wore so many varied masks, that I literally had to stop and ask myself who I really was. My values were distorted, I was consistently frustrated, I didn’t believe in myself and I lost the essence of who I was.

What kept the flame alit for me was my ability to still witness the flickering fire within, I could taste it in times of distress and pain. We all have a fire. Fire is the source of life – energy moving through time and space (not that we really know what time is).

We are creatures of comfort, although we haven’t always been that way. We thrive on doing our best to make lives easier for ourselves and matters of the heart are no different. When it comes to protecting the heart, we do what we can and this can at times mean losing ourselves in the process.

For me I avoided pain, I avoided being wrong, going against the status quo, disagreeing or being different (although I really did feel different). We are good at avoiding pain and it wasn’t until I embraced who I truly was that life became real for me.

I went though a period of being rebellious, not giving a fuck, being loud, outspoken and even arrogant. My pendulum had to swing between extremes before I could own a middle path. I embraced the difficult and I accepted all the parts of me.

I once cared little about myself, then little about others and now more about both in greater equanimity and equity. It hasn’t necessarily been easy, yet it’s been rewarding. Now, those in my life appreciate my truth as they know they get the real me with no illusions and no unpleasant surprises.

Who are you at your core? Even though we are evolving constantly, when we know our core essence, we take that power in to the world unapologetically, yet humbly and respectfully. My invitation to you is to practice being you with no attachment to outcome.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



What Is Sexual Polarity?

If we are experiencing a lack of sexual charge in our relationships it could be for many reasons, and we need to get real with what they may be – stress, disinterest, health issues, distractions, priority shifts, distance (emotional and/or physical) and more.
The deeper the difference, the more pronounced the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction occurs in the differences between people. Emotional attraction is developed through “sameness”, connection and rapport. We require both to thrive.

Masculine Closeness & Sexuality

  Stef Sifandos Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker     I just finished leading my weekly webinar with my group...

The Debilitating & Controlling Nature Of Fear

I find it so deeply sad that fear controls our lives, that fear limits us from experiencing wonder, joy, expansion, opportunity and deep love. Love itself is a multidimensional, multilayered and multifaceted experiential state…

The Richness Of Union

There is a richness that accompanies commitment. When we commit to the intertwining of all the expressions of self, we grow in to a more encompassed and complete version of who we have always been.

The intertwining of our sexual sacredness may only transpire if we are open to receiving and giving in equanimity. Our sexual energy may only flow when we are free of shame and when we have chosen to commit without inhibition. To be SEEN for all that we are.

Who’s Your Brother?

Men are too isolated, lonely, disconnected and not aware of the need to have men in their lives.
Men today have fallen from their own grace. Men have lost their own sense of deep responsibility in honouring the path of brotherhood. In a world of hyper-competition and fears driven action we have become isolated by our own conditioning. Men were born to be warriors. Like we will never directly relate to the giving of birth, the bond between warrior brothers is one reserved for the connected man.

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