Intimacy… We all want it, we all desire it, we all pursue it — either consciously with a healthy and aware deliberate intent or unconscious. Either way depth of connection drives a large part of this human experience.

Intimacy is chipping away the pain, the hurt and the protective armor. The experience of intimacy allows us to know our ourselves, to acquaint ourselves with the core of our truth. To see ourselves for what and who we are and be proud. To honour ourselves and feel liberated and powerful in our expressions.

Intimacy with self and with others allows us to know the depths of our own union, emergence and wholeness. When we are embracing intimacy, we are owning connection and we are allowing others to see us for our truth.

There is a great sense of safety that accompanies this intention to be seen and to see others. For men, particularly it can be difficult to feel safe. Feeling safe and allowing ourselves to be seen is associated with weakness. Women of course, have their own set of fears associated with vulnerability and rawness.

For men, it becomes imperative that we do not vomit our rawness to the world charged with unconscious pain, that we are continent with our inner paradigm (thoughts, feelings and emotions) before splurging to the world. This act of self-reliance cultivates first and foremost deeper intimacy with self.

This is very attractive to the alluring feminine, which yearns for the masculine to be stable, to know himself and to be attentive to his inner world that he may show up to life in deeper realisation.

From this space, he becomes empowered to EXPLORE fully and then EXPRESS his power and his truth from a place of self-reverence and knowing. When he takes this into deeper forms of expressive intimacy he gives more, feels more and experiences more.

This is being seen and allowing to be seen. This is intimacy at its core. Exploring the essence of self and then feeling stable, safe and confident enough to share that with others. Here, there is no judgement and there is no pain body and unconscious, systemic trauma that drives unhealthy relating.

We are then open, reflective and present. BE that man.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author