Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker


Thousands of years of compounded behaviour has resulted in the unhealthy and extreme posture and dominant masculine expression rampant in the majority of men today. By describing accurately who we have been is not perpetuating a myth or holding ‘ourselves back’. We are holding ourselves back by fracturing our psyche by not looking at ourselves from a place of holism.


In order to understand ourselves as men in society today, we must understand who we have been and why we have been this way. Reclaim Your Kingdom as a deep experiential program dives deep in to this. 

There is great stigma around this term ‘TOXIC MASCULINITY’. I am not openly stating that all men are toxic, bad or incapable of being healthy. When we reject femininity or the contrasted aspect of being human to such a point that we cause harm to others our behaviours become toxic. This extreme expression not only harms those around men, but men also. It stunts our creativity, presence, emotional, relational and cognitive growth.

By rejecting stereotypical attributes of what society or aspects of society consider feminine we are inherently denying key aspects of ourselves and what makes us whole. When we reject parts of what we are, we are moving in extreme circumstances. Behaviour that is perpetuated and extreme in expression is toxic to us as individuals and stunts our growth and society’s growth.

Toxicity in expression is NOT limited to men only! Allow me to debunk this and how it is utilised in this context. Unhealthy relational behaviour, attitudes, postures and actions in extreme expressions over compounded periods of extended time becomes toxic to the fabric of society and to the clear consciousness and evolution of self. It is as simple as that. Yes, females can also engage in toxic behaviour or toxic femininity – especially if choosing to posture, think, express, feel and behave with extreme mannerisms.

So, please allow me to continue to clarify for those that may be sensitive to this term because we really need to call this for what it is – unhealthy and toxic to our growth. Acknowledging intergenerational, collective and societal expressions of extreme behaviour led by the masculine consciousness (not completely by men, but vastly by men) does not mean we are doomed as men, nor that we are ‘satanic’ by a normative definition and limited to this state for the remainder of our existence. Men are f*****g amazing and brilliant. 

When we take ownership of who we have been as a collective essence and that there has been tremendous and still is expressions of imbalance in our conduct and relationships, we allow ourselves (and grant ourselves a better opportunity) to shift consciousness, action, behaviour, ideology and beliefs towards a more inclusive, sustainable and growth promoting collaborative culture and posture.

Let us also acknowledge the leaps in evolution and ‘spiritual innovation’ that man particularly in this context has assumed and taken. This is incredible. We are opening our hearts and minds, our sexual centres and our presence. We are becoming more compassionate, accepting, less judgemental and more authentically empowered. As men I am not asking you to be TAME or mindless – LEAD! I am asking you be f*****g powerful from a place of connectedness and wisdom, not fear and unhealthy dominance.

We need to shift gears here. Move away from avoidance of what was, has been and will continue to be if we repress, deny and hide away from the shadow of the collective male consciousness. We have been subjugating, oppressive, unreasonable, in-just and unfair by large. By bringing this to awareness we can choose with deliberate intent to transmute this.  

We must move away from our fears of being rejected, ostracised and disconnected from society if we are to become more collaborative. This does not mean ‘giving away our balls’, or becoming hyper-passive, meek (in the modern sense of the word) or desensitised where we suppress or hormonal aptitudes and states. 

We can still be protective, physical, centred, powerful, courageous men who create a new paradigm of relating and thinking, whilst taking the value from our male organism and biology and what has worked for us and bring it in to society in a new and reformed manner. I am not insinuating becoming weak and subservient, relinquishing our ability to lead or lose ourselves in others.

There is no value, benefit nor purpose in this way of being. What is this new paradigm you may ask? Well, lets create and forge that together – here and now with this open discourse. Men, this program is redefining masculinity in a connected and integrated way. The principles and ethos of this program is grounded in growth and transmutation of what is not equitable in ownership and responsibility of self, not disempowerment. 

We do not require permission to be ‘real men’. We are empowered enough to be present to know who we need to be in order to create greater balance within and harmony within our social systems. So, lets move away from being hyper-sensitive to this term, lets call a spade a spade. Lets observe life as it is and as it has been and lets decide collectively if we are ready to next-level our collective consciousness…

One is always glad to be of service.


Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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