Man In The Mirror

A message to the collective responsibility and authentic power of men.

When I write this, I cannot help but be drawn to feel in to and think openly to the magnificent, beautiful, kind, compassionate, patient, loving, caring (insert endless endearing adjectives) women in my life that have impacted, moulded, shaped, influenced, help heal, facilitate growth, gently guide, demonstrate and empower me to be the grandest version of myself.

Women that have allowed me to express, held strong and familiar their steady breath, have delved deep in to the shadow with me and who have assisted me to evolve (at the time) beyond my recognition. Thank you. I pay homage, honour and bow in reverence to you as I deeply reflect on the wonderment that is your natural feminine beauty, prowess, presence and guiding glow.

So, this piece of writing is not only about men. For without the women in our lives, what would be? Who would we be? Like Icarus, we would continue to fly to close to the sun, burn, crash, and suffer endlessly in this cycle of ignorance.

Women provide us with ‘intelligent hope’, with truth, light, life, insightfulness and love so that we may one day not choose to continue to fly so close, but to rather listen to the inner voice and choose to grow together.

As men, we often assume a facade, put on a mask, or rather a layered series of various masks to ensure we are not truly seen for who we are, for what we are. Playing to the collective, conditioned fiddle of what a man must be, who we should be, what we should be.

Distancing ourselves further from what we truly wish to be. Embedding ourselves deeper in to the trenches of fear – isolating further from those we love and who love us.

Looking in the mirror, what do we ‘see’? What do you feel? Are you honouring your path? Are you being ‘authentic’? Are you expressing and communicating your truth in an earnest manner? Are you present to what is occurring to and with you internally?

Are we not human, do we not also need to adhere to expression and communication in such a way that liberates us from inner friction, tension, pain, perpetual suffering and disconnection?

If we retain this pain for fear of being seen, perceived weak, judged, ridiculed, forgotten about, oppressed or excluded are we not only distancing ourselves from what we value most in this world… Connection and growth?

Men are essentially ‘good’. In fact we are magnificence in motion. However, as a collective we have not owned this, we have not embraced this, we are scared of our magnificence. So, we continue to play to the flute of the old, of the common, the familiar, yet the intrinsically distorted, fear based, oppressive and detached.

We need to realise that we hold the power to reshape our path, existence and impact beautifully the lives of others. To take ownership of this, feel this and hold our hearts and the hearts of women in our hands as we transition through this life and begin to empower ourselves to support our journey and that of the beautiful women in our lives.

Not because women are incapable ‘weak’. Quite the contrary, they have felt our pain and cultural, emotional and spiritual disconnection for millenia upon millenia and have supported us through this with immense patience, vision and empathy for so long.

It is time for men to rise intellectually (emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally, cognitively and more) to grow, become and thrive as empowered, strong men.

What does this mean for us when we gaze in to the mirror? It means we are confident; connected to self; authentic in posture; inclusive in gesture; we speak from courage awareness and openness, not fear, apathy and abhorrence; we give wildly; we live freely; we love without borders; we feel truly; we express congruently and beyond all of this we trust and forgive ourselves completely.

Perhaps the most challenging realisation is forgiveness. That is why so many of us struggle to meet ourselves in the mirror, to gaze widely and deeply, to stare in to the abyss of the self and say:

I am sorry… To forgive oneself, the collective, the past, the present, the future; to release and be non-attached to the collective pain and ‘move forward’ with grace, a new found sense of resilience and truth. To be vulnerable in posture and be seen for the first time, yes we can.

I know in the past this inability to surrender and forgive has plagued and tainted my expression with apathy, dishonesty and a fractured view of reality, of self and how to relate in intimacy. Hurting those I loved and cared for dearly.

Can we as men truly forgive who we have been? Ask openly for forgiveness of others and continue to gaze deep in to the seat of our essence. We are inherently good. We are kind, open, endearing, inclusive and connected.

Along the way, we lost our way and it has been to confronting to change or transmute that for so many reasons. Can we now? Are we rising? Are we multiplying in authentic expression?

Yes, yes we are. We are growing, we are becoming, we are transcending the old and embracing the new. Men have always been so deeply strong, reliable and vertical in posture.

We have misdirected these wondrous qualities in to self-absorbed, fear-entrenched endeavours. It is now time to redirect these amazing qualities to a more inclusive approach of being and conscious form of relating.

Yes, we are ready – we always have been. We always will be. We are brilliance, we are strength, we are empowered, we are reverent, aware, conscious and willing to transform to raise others, to be a foundation and pillar combined of strength, verticality and inspiration for those we love.

To assist the women in our lives to shine fully, without inhibition, threat or fear. To express the fullness of their gifts, so that we may learn, grow and become the conscious geniuses we were meant to.

To look in to the mirror and be proud, not in an egoic manner, but to own the fight we have been through, the effort and the pain we have endured to move through the collective and individual shadow as our women have for so long. To be equals in this ‘game of life’. To be immersed in equity in this game of life.

We are ready to gaze deeply in to the eyes of our own sovereign being and state powerfully our mantra of collaboration, courage and inclusivity. We are ready now more than ever. Our physical strength being used for healing, not hurting.

Our intelligence being utilised for compassion not conspiracy and scarcity. Our capacity to protect to be used for heart, not possession. Our willingness to pursue what matters to be used for sincere purpose not domination and control.

To stare in to the mirror and not be afraid to love the self in all its facets; to not ignore or suppress conveniently what is difficult to face. We are ready to face the wholeness of our expression.

Ready to own our perceived and repetitive flaws as a commemorative remembering of what no longer serves our evolution. Ready to own all that we are, have been and will be – free of crucifixion, martyrdom and unhealthy ego.

We are not denying our physiology. We are redirecting the power our physiology and gifts towards postures of inclusion, collaborative and open creation and towards empowerment and the uplifting of our fellow sentient beings and mother Earth. We, as men want what all people want…

To love, be loved, receive, give, grow in togetherness, explore, connect, feel fully and just be. We have simply denied ourselves of this truth for too long as we have been distracted by condition and facade, masks, fear and pain.

Yes, men – gaze deeply in to your potential and utilise the magnificence of this physical vessel and the expansiveness of your heart to actualise your potential… You are ready, you always have been. Time to act continuously and with grace in power.

One is always glad to be of service. 

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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