The Fragile Heart

In order to activate the fullness of the soul, one must explore the shadows that plague the heart.

To reclaim the whole of who we are, we must own all of what we have been. 

The healthy masculine provides safety, structure and continuity in his expression, but only once he opens his heart. 

If the masculine remains closed and armored he continues to float in insecurity and shame.

Here, he denies access to the feminine. 

He restricts receiving/receptivity and he projects himself to be superior in order to protect his unspoken fragility. 

Now he oppresses the very thing he craves… 

To be seen and held by the openness of the feminine – both within and outside of himself…

I see myself in fragility at times. My fragility presents as anger, attempting to protect my heart from being hurt and my vulnerabilities and insecurities from being seen. I trust less, fight more and am more frazzled, overwhelmed and confused. This is me in parts of my shadow.

From here, I generally spiral into shame. If I allow this to transpire, I am in a lose-lose situation with myself and my beloved. She feels me shut down, it scares her. This is inconsistent and therefore unpredictable.

I am now unsafe and untamed. I am not the healthy wild, but the volatile wild. This is not inviting. There are parts of me that still hide. I am human, I falter, I fall and I feel weakness at times.

This is not an excuse to not be responsible for choosing differently. I choose this closing down so that I can avoid feeling the momentary pain of not feeling enough. I am attempting to run from shame, but shame catches up… it always does.

This causes more friction and the walls go up. Now, I am not letting her in (or anyone for that matter)… I am working on this and it only unravels in the minutia and not often, but it is there. There is still at times a fear to be fully seen and witnessed. It comes up when I feel disconnected and overwhelmed.

I deal with it healthily by being with it, welcoming it and being curious. I share from a place of power and clarity what I am experiencing and feeling and this diffuses the shame. I actively breathe with it and move my body, I then sit in it and feel it fully without judgment. I sit in the cold, the heat and the body. It speaks to me and reminds me of where it is coming from.

What is unresolved and requires more attention, love and care within. If you at times feel disconnected from life because the past is rearing its head, you are not alone. What is one word you can say to yourself to remind yourself to break the pattern of being the old fearful you? Mine is PRESENCE.

One is glad to be of service.

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



5 Secrets Of High Performing Conscious Business Leaders

Leadership can be a fickle practice and one that can challenge the leader of an organisation, the culture of an organisation, its people and the multiple stakeholders that are involved in creating a successful cultural and commercial climate…

Anahata Chakra

The area of the heart (Anahata) can be challenging for solarised masculine men to open, express healthily and still remain in yang or solar energy. This chakra is part of the mental body and can be challenging to arouse. To activate this area of expression and being, it is essential we have activated the receptive side of our being.

How I Stopped Playing The Victim

We often play the victim when we lack belief in ourselves. We play the victim to get attention and validation. I know I did. We also have an approach of blaming others for our misfortunes or even being highly codependent. My self-worth was so low that I needed to beg in all the different ways for people to SEE me and validate me. I searched outside of myself for love and compromised myself during that journey.

Childhood Neglect

We suffer when we neglect ourselves and when we do not own who we are. So many of us grew up in disconnection from our families, unprotected from those we were meant to trust, unseen and unforgiven. I experienced hardship like many of us – physical abuse, violence, volatility in the home, shame and projected judgment.

A New Way To Look At Anger

When we pursue what we value with tenacity, unparalleled focus and a mindset of resilience we learn more about ourselves, our capacity and our power than almost any other means of self-discovery.

Let’s redefine aggression for a moment. Let’s look at aggression as inspired relentlessness. It’s a fuel source that sources our highest expression in to the world. Now, raw aggression in times of absolute survival is a different concept.


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