Focus On The “NOW”

Stop reminiscing about and being attached to the pain and fear of the past, so that you may justify and validate the circumstances of you NOW.

We are so attached to what is familiar that we are unwilling to let go of what no longer serves us I order to preserve an ideology or way of being that feels safe because we have know it all of our lives.

We develop coping strategies when we’re younger to deal with the stress and at times trauma of life. The deal is these compensatory strategies that once worked well no longer get serve us and in fact hinder us as adults.

But because it’s all we think we know, we cling to them as if it’s our core identity. And, the truth is that if we believe it so badly, we become it. This is where the web of entanglement is felt. Our pain merged with our ‘personalities’ and they become one.

We keep bringing attention to it all thinking we are all of it and more. And that without the pain we lose ourselves and a deeper sense of who we are. It’s time to rewrite our stories. YES! We actually carry that power.

It begins with releasing the notion of no longer needing to be known by our pain. The ego associated with these aspects of ourselves must die! Can you create a new version of yourself? Can you see the safety in current situations that may resemble the dreadful past but are actually not?

Can you believe in a version of yourself that is free? Can you envision a life that is built upon the facts and truths of now, not the past? Can you see yourself BEYOND the suffering and in to greater experiences of balance?

Our choices are our own. I know when I made the choice to not identify with who I was and when I dug deeper in to my stuff (especially around commitment, a sense of freedom and my own self-worth) I outgrew the old and rose in to the new.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Debunking 5 Myths Around Being a Man

Whilst there are many ideas around what it means to be masculine and what it means to be a man in today’s world, many of them are either based on outdated cultural norms or are distorted and unrealistic. Why? Because, we are placing far too much emphasis on what man ‘should’ be in an idealistic sense and not actually placing attention on the gifts of man.

Appreciation – Life – Connection – Death

We love, we live, we laugh, we cry, we feel the fullness of life. Life only passes us when we live in states where we do not appreciate what we have. Life passes us by so quickly, because rather than being present to the wonder of the moment, our mind is fast forwarding to a perceived to be more desirable place.

To Deprive Ourselves Of Touch Is To Deprive The World Of Circulating Love

To deprive ourselves of intimate connection is to remain shrouded in the veil we wear to protect from an invisible force that separates us.

To lose touch with touch is to scream to consciousness that we are not worthy.

To isolate ourselves from the wonder of visceral contact with another is to isolate ourselves from our humanity.

Deep Truth – The Power Of Masculine Realisation

We must understand that the masculine and the feminine reside within both males and females and apply to both males and females for each other and for themselves. It is through allegory and story that we learn deeply and profoundly…

Are You Vulnerable Enough?

The vulnerability and “owning my shadow” card can be fickle. We pretend to be vulnerable and truthful by showing and owning our shadows openly or expressing one of MANY that we have. More often than not though, this is a deflection of what’s really ailing us at a deeper level that we fear intensely, so we unconsciously pretend to be courageous about this more minor pain/shadow, in order to avoid dealing with the greater beast that resides within…

Share This