Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Entering The Sacredness Of The ‘Yoni’

‘Our’ Perspective

The only vantage point we have is our own. However, through accessing our empathetic faculties, our own direct experiences and the yearning to learn and grow we may reach a place where our wisdom and willingness to connect plays an integral role in our expansion. This is a male perspective on one of the most sacred ‘homes’ in the cosmos.


Neurology – The Body – Connection

The female vagina corresponds neurologically with the female brain and essentially makes up the female archetype. When this sacred area of the female anatomy is free, liberated, safe and connected – a woman may move in to her creative flow, courage, open sensuality, give herself to herself and to her lover, move in to blissful states of being and transcend pain, collective suffering, oppression and division. As men, we play a crucial role in creating the sanctuary for women to open fully.

As men, we must choose to revere and respect the entirety of the Yoni. The Yoni serves as a gateway to the essence of a woman, to her soul, her spirit, the core of who she is. The labia, forms the entrance to the depths of what the Yoni may offer. A flowering bud ready to bloom but only at the right time. Of course, a woman must feel safe and connected within her own autonomous self in order to allow her own full expression to transpire, but as men how can we serve? How can we support?


An Embodied Experience

And how can we share fully in this mutually embodied experience? After all, we are all here to connect, bond, be intimate and share – we all play a role. As men, it is time we embraced and recognized the responsibility of this role. This dialogue truly revolves around our role as men supporting the flourishing of the autonomous woman, whilst granting a masculine perspective on something truly sacred.

How can we as men assist in welcoming an opening of the labia, so that we may be privileged to what ultimately is the opening of a woman’s heart and soul? These lips of depth, love and softness are symbolic of the posture men must take in order to be fully connected and open to the power and wonder of a woman’s complete being. Whilst we hold this softness within, enough to emanate security and safety, we also must be vertical and stable within our own being so that we may hold this tremendous power circulating and opening through this embodied vortex.


To Be Of Service

Once one of the entrances to a woman’s being begins to open and invite external life in, we must recognize the honor here. Like a thousand petaled lotus opening and blooming to the gentle call of the warm sun, a woman’s Yoni welcomes qualities such as safety, trust, honour, praise, communication, adaptability, softness, gratitude, reverence, depth of connection to the intricacies of life, warmth and wholeness.

The only way the sacred temple (the Yoni) may be seen for its transparent truth is through authentic attention, worship and appreciation. Firstly, and like any being, we must honor and revere ourselves, then we will receive flow in the body. Then, once a woman has honored her being for what it is, she may receive that energy through the Yoni from another. As men, we have a responsibility to be diligent, careful and connected.

Caressing, moving with, yet leading with clarity, direction and confidence. And here is the delicate balance that we must enact. To be seen, heard, felt, known and revered is a gift. To provide that to a woman is a privilege and in fact, enlightening for all involved. Here, your beloved’s Yoni will welcome you wholly in to her energy, deem you worthy and a sacredness of union may commence.


A Move Towards Wholeness

As men, in this position we are not supposing that the woman we are sharing consecrated space with is ‘perfect’. We are not perfect either. No one’s role is more important than the other’s. We are sharing a journey and the part we are playing is dual. To heal our own being, bring back in to balance our authentic nature through ‘proper action’ that is giving and pays homage to those we love.

And secondly, setting an intent to give the ‘other’ what they need and how they need it. Our role is to oscillate between this dancing of ‘toing and froing’, whilst remaining solid, un-wavered and forward observing, knowing that any present storm for both is one that shall pass.

Playing this role is so deeply equilibrating. Allowing your beloved or the person you are sharing space with neutralize many life experiences – traumas, unresolved pains, disconnection from primary caregivers, previous unchecked relationships and issues around self-worth. We are relational beings for a reason. When occupying healthy intentions, we grow dramatically and become wondrous mirrors for growth for each other. What I see in you, you see in me and vice versa.


The Power Of Openness

Vulnerability, honesty, transparency and humility open the gateway to deepened love, sacred bonding and intimacy. Without these qualities, as well as revered appreciation and masterful devotion, the Yoni may never open and impart its gifts to us as men. The holy womb cannot be entered without permission and for permission to be granted we must move in a mutualistic symbiotic union of sorts – lead by us as men, listening ever so intently to the call of the Yoni and the heartbeat of the woman we are present to as she surrenders wholly to us. Intimacy is a mutual exchange, when we give, we receive, when we receive we have a greater capacity to give.

Revering the entrance to the Yoni assists us in opening into deeper trust and deliberate connection. The Yoni is so much more than a sexual organ. It is an access point to higher consciousness. A woman has complete autonomy over her being (body, mind, heart and spirit). When we embrace this truth, as men we approach the energy of a woman with greater care and consideration.


Moving Beyond Our Traumas

Our traumas are held deep in our nervous system, body and neurology – with the thousands of nerve endings connecting brain to Yoni and the collective imperative around the sexualization, oppression and discrimination against women having occurred for thousands of years, we must treat this area of the body as something of a rarity.

Women (like men) can carry deep wounding in this area, both personal and collective. For a woman, it largely revolves around trust, for men more around rejection and humiliation. For men to come fully into the Yoni they must approach her with appreciation, purity of heart and intent, completely honoring this sacred portal into the feminine. They must also feel welcomed in order to enter the Yoni this way. 

For this to transpire mutual trust is imperative. As men, it is our role to cultivate this. To demonstrate that years of collective history needn’t present itself once more in the same oppressive way here in this space. We have an opportunity every time we are connected to literally ‘change history’. This is our collective dharma as men this is our path. And in doing so we learn to step in to healthy, vertical, trustworthy and stable masculinity.


Sensual Surrender

For a sensual and connected feminine woman to surrender deeply into this space of trust and openness she must venerate, admire and revere her man. She must feel safe, held and yearned for. She must feel seen, understood, safe to express openly and freely and she must feel supported in this journey. She must have faith in both his authentic power and the softness of his gentleness as he navigates her temple with a familiarity that is cosmically divine.

For us as men, to penetrate the hearts, souls, consciousness and Yoni of the women we are with truly we must be present to her needs. If she detects discontinuity, volatility and a sense of not feeling grounded she will retract, close off and constrict the vitality and purity of her energy. A healthy woman will remain true to herself.

An unhealthy woman may close internally but remain there due to low self-worth. These consistent and common cycles continually impact negatively the collective dynamic between the masculine and feminine poles. To shift this, we must shift the way we treat ourselves and interact with our own being. Intimate relationships are a practice ground for growth, but we must also be aware of our own inner processes.


Recreating A New Norm

Sadly, however the dynamic nature of intimate relationships today has led to be more selfish, focusing on our needs at the expense of others. We have forgotten the delicacy and transformative power of relationships. The greater collective is in a cycle of perpetual confusion and pain. We fear opening up, being vulnerable and therefore being present and engaging growth. The abuse of past has limited all people.

We are stuck in a traumatic dance of retraction. We have forgotten the sacredness of the Yoni and the legitimate power of the Lingam. There is a great unconscious sorrow and despondency that limits our expression and our choice to open up to others and even ourselves.

When the feminine feels safe, she will open the gateway to her being freely. As men, it is our choice to respect this journey and revere it for what it is… An invitation to explore, an invitation to be liberated and connected. As men, we must be magnets for safety, magnets for our powerful presence. We must embody this.

A woman knows, her body knows when there is legitimate and authentic embodiment. This is beautifully sincere and attractive. It is welcomed, honored and the warmth of the feminine begins to flow, we feel this and we again soften and move through our own processes of vulnerability. We literally begin to transcend the mind and engage the heart center.


Being Deliberate & Aware

If we choose to enter a woman without a deliberate sense of self and the woman we are with – without a sense of consciousness, we are losing an opportunity to intertwine our energies and multiple our power. There must be a loving connection present. A connection of reverence, honoring and depth.

This has nothing to do with how ‘long’ you have been together for in terms of linear time. If we focus on a hyper-selfish, self-gratifying posture we are limiting our expression and potential for depth of connection. All this does is bring back collective unconscious memories of violence and oppression (not overt, but systemic). This is not the way forward.

Every time we choose to not be aware and connected, it becomes recorded on the delicate fabric of the entrance of the Yoni, pulling the feminine further away from trust and organic opening – reinforcing distance, isolation and ignorance in the masculine. The masculine retracts in to what he knows and that is unhealthy distance predicated upon the fear of further rejection. Not knowing that his habitual patterns of action are contributing so deeply to the disconnect and ‘unhealthy roughness’ he is exhibiting.


To Be Present

Let me be clear, there is everything right with conscious, mutual ravaging based on trust, where the masculine possesses great clarity and wisdom with respect to how he moves through the world. Being open and clear in his intentions, yet safe, reliable and trustworthy. If women continue to allow these actions ‘blind entrance’, women will fade in to the masses and lose their sense of beauty and sanctity, their sense of being cherished. Gradually their sensitivity, awareness, intuition, compassion and magnetic-feeling self-diminishes. As men, we have a duty to be responsible for our part and our actions.

When there is disconnect, there is a receding of the feminine power and love that transpires that results in a numbness that stops us from communicating consciously and intimately. We then become robotic, purely following the drivers of our biology only. A woman’s lips and entrance becomes desensitized to genuine intimacy and many women have little feeling beyond this powerful portal to the soul. Our role as men is not to step in to an unhealthy and passive posturing, but rather step in to a revering honoring that transcends gender norms and boundaries and focuses on the safety of the women we are spending our energy with.


A New Paradigm Of Connection

A new and conscious paradigm of co-relating and co-creating that conscious men and women are a part of reflects the practice of equally mutual worship pf both the Yoni and the Lingam. The Yoni ‘cosmic portal’ can only become fully honored and vibrantly alive when she is ready and when in partnership when the masculine is present.

For this to occur, the shadow (both collective and individual) must be explored by all conscious individuals present to each other. A woman in the empowerment of who she is, is the Goddess incarnate – completely healed of collective and individual sexual wounds and subjugation. Her beloved is also completely in his power, empowered, clear, healed and vertical.

The word Yoni means more than the parts of the body known as the labia and vulva. Yoni in Sanskrit can be known to mean: the divine passage for body and soul, the holder, the matrix of generation, the origin or primal source of all creation, the birthplace of the universe. In Vedic astrology and philosophy, each child is considered to be born from a yoni of stars – the constellations that prevailed during the child’s birth.


The Sacredness Of Love, Self & Intimacy

The Yoni is a temple entrance, where the purity of the feminine can be connected to, where she may flourish fully and empower herself to live openly – giving, receiving, holding, being compassionate, forgiving and undeniable beautiful in all facets of her being. It is the opening into the holy womb and the birth space for all of flourishing life. The Yoni is a great teacher, a master and an opportunity for transmutation of pain in to connected and elevated power.

When we – as mutually symbiotic and connected beings allow ourselves to experience and feel fully (and this means all of the pain that comes with transmutation and change) we allow ourselves to unfold wonderfully This dance is where we learn devotional self-love, non-attachment, sovereignty and self-reverence. This can only occur when we welcome trust in to our lives. A woman will know when she is sexually liberated (which equates to a spiritual revolution of self) when her Yoni is trusting and she feels her essence is revered.


Final Thoughts

Men, we have an opportunity to feel the transcendent power of worship – we become men through worship of our own being and that of the feminine (both within and without). The Yoni is the sacred entrance into the feminine holiest of places – to know this is to evolve deeply in intimate relationship.

One is always glad to be of service.


Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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