Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Desire Is NOT Toxic – Another Spin On Wanting

Wanting and desire get a bad rep – let’s flip this notion…

We think if we desire for life we are unhealthy, selfish and disconnected. We are ‘bad’ people if we desire. It is not that we are desiring, it is HOW we desire that sets the tone for our movement and existence in this life.

It becomes why we desire and the intention and energy that moves our desire. What occurs if we desire and expect and attach and do not receive what we perceived? What occurs when we are certain that that we ‘need’ an experience, ‘thing’, relationship or person and it does not transpire? How do we behave here?

We begin to understand that desiring is a natural part of life, living, being and moving in this world. Desire clarifies intention, which lends itself to taking action. Taking action liberates us from stagnation and promotes growth and full exploration of self and of life.

If we become caught in cycle of ‘empty desire’ then we lose ourselves in a perpetual state of always wanting more – never satisfied with who we are and what we have. When our desire is clear, purposeful, meaningful and connected we carry an inner knowing that as long as we are living in and on purpose, we are deliberate, mindful, open and connected in action and vision, desire does not become cumbersome but rather exciting and astounding.

Why? Because of that clarity, that inner knowing that all will transpire as it needs to. Not because of some blind notion of dissociative attachment from the integrated self, but rather because we know and feel we are doing all we can to be the most aligned, congruent and empowered version of ourselves. If we judge ourselves for ‘wanting’, then we will never progress, grow, expand or unravel – we will remain stagnant. Then we leave it to TRUST. We must trust fully ourselves first; that does not mean we do not pivot, adjust or adapt if we need to, we do and we do it from a place of growth, expansion and learning. This is where we act, have preferences in life but are not rigid and attached to these preferences, because we know that what is for us based on our integrity in action carries great wisdom.

Now, we refrain from remaining in the past wishing and hoping or projected in to the future worried whether our actions will lead us to what we think we need. We all deserve wonder. Yet, we often miss the wonder in the present because we are so concerned with a single minded idea that has perhaps reached its use by date.

Single mindedness has an integral place in our world, but only from a place of sincere self-connectedness. Want away, desire all you wish and create the experiences in life that will liberate you from depressant suffering, low self-worth, ignorance and limiting fear. You are worthy of this and so much more.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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In order to begin a journey of mastery we must be clear on who we are and what we wish to be, whilst choosing consciously to move towards desired states of being that align with our highest truth…

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When we make excuses we negate responsibility and therefore defuse our power. This is unattractive and makes us as men untrustworthy.

Recently having facilitated hundreds of men through deep transformational and explorative work I realized profoundly that our excuses are holding us back from intimacy and connection – to be seen and to witness.


Breathe… We hear this all the time. What does it mean? Breathing deliberately with intention helps us grow, be healthier and simply put overall better at life…
Breath literally saved my life. Having experienced physical and emotional abuse, abandonment and volatility as a child my nervous system were conditioned for pain and tension.

The Honouring Of Life Creation

There lies tremendous beauty in the recognition of what it means to be fully connected to the creation energy. We all have great reverent capacity to create, however there is something unique about the women in our lives and their ability to create.

I will never claim to know this very specific form of creation energy through the feeling body of a woman.

To Feel Without Judgment

How do we feel? When feeling becomes so painful, so raw, so intense, so deep, how do we surrender or be present to these feelings?

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