Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Desire Is NOT Toxic – Another Spin On Wanting

Wanting and desire get a bad rep – let’s flip this notion…

We think if we desire for life we are unhealthy, selfish and disconnected. We are ‘bad’ people if we desire. It is not that we are desiring, it is HOW we desire that sets the tone for our movement and existence in this life.

It becomes why we desire and the intention and energy that moves our desire. What occurs if we desire and expect and attach and do not receive what we perceived? What occurs when we are certain that that we ‘need’ an experience, ‘thing’, relationship or person and it does not transpire? How do we behave here?

We begin to understand that desiring is a natural part of life, living, being and moving in this world. Desire clarifies intention, which lends itself to taking action. Taking action liberates us from stagnation and promotes growth and full exploration of self and of life.

If we become caught in cycle of ‘empty desire’ then we lose ourselves in a perpetual state of always wanting more – never satisfied with who we are and what we have. When our desire is clear, purposeful, meaningful and connected we carry an inner knowing that as long as we are living in and on purpose, we are deliberate, mindful, open and connected in action and vision, desire does not become cumbersome but rather exciting and astounding.

Why? Because of that clarity, that inner knowing that all will transpire as it needs to. Not because of some blind notion of dissociative attachment from the integrated self, but rather because we know and feel we are doing all we can to be the most aligned, congruent and empowered version of ourselves. If we judge ourselves for ‘wanting’, then we will never progress, grow, expand or unravel – we will remain stagnant. Then we leave it to TRUST. We must trust fully ourselves first; that does not mean we do not pivot, adjust or adapt if we need to, we do and we do it from a place of growth, expansion and learning. This is where we act, have preferences in life but are not rigid and attached to these preferences, because we know that what is for us based on our integrity in action carries great wisdom.

Now, we refrain from remaining in the past wishing and hoping or projected in to the future worried whether our actions will lead us to what we think we need. We all deserve wonder. Yet, we often miss the wonder in the present because we are so concerned with a single minded idea that has perhaps reached its use by date.

Single mindedness has an integral place in our world, but only from a place of sincere self-connectedness. Want away, desire all you wish and create the experiences in life that will liberate you from depressant suffering, low self-worth, ignorance and limiting fear. You are worthy of this and so much more.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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The Empowering Transience Of Death

“I truly wonder if I can capture what I am actually feeling and experiencing here – I shall attempt to…” There is great power and tempo in death. Let us begin with the death of a loved one. The physical passing of those we are emotionally bonded to at a depth that supersedes our understanding of life itself…

Vulnerability In Voice

There is great transitional and transformational power in releasing the fullness of one’s voice in to the world. Partial expression is important, but there are parts of self that must be heard. How do we know which parts are these? We feel it, we ‘know’. I am still finding the range, breadth, depth and robustness in my voice.

Symbiotic Mirroring In The Beloved

When we move towards being open enough to love we begin to experience relationship in the most profound of ways. We define sacred union as a cosmic bond that allows us to merge in to each other in such a way that in the other we see ourselves…

The Precious Radiance Of The Feminine – A Personal Monologue

Please read through with an openness of heart and mind. “We are all one in the same, intricately connected through the magic that is the undying, infinite and magnificent cosmos…”

Compliment Your Heart, Not Your Ego

The ego plays an important role in our development of self, our socialization and our connection to the ‘outside’ world.

However, when we consistently choose the ego over the expansive power of the heart we become unbalanced.

Ego protects us from a vantage point of fear, contraction and minimizing the true self. ‘It’ (being us and a part of us) still has a directive of self-preservation.

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