Claim Your Woman

This isn’t about ownership. This is about responsibility, clarity, transparency and fullness in expression. To claim another is to commit. To first commit to your truth and claim within yourself what you yearn for. From here, it becomes an open DECLARATION. To know who you are and what you want and to then let others witness and bathe in that.

How can we expect others to feel safe in our presence when we emit cluttered thoughts and confusion. As men, we cherish freedom, yet this yearning for freedom at times comes from deep fear. A scarcity mindset around what is possible and what is “ours”.

And we project this fear upon others and our lovers through being non-committal in our posture or our actions. We state freedom is our priority and we cannot “be free” if we are in intimate relationship. We yearn for freedom, yet are attached to losing it.

This causes friction, rigidity and tension. The antithesis of being or feeling free. Our partners feel this and as it goes, complimentary wounding has a way of expressing itself exactly as required for us to reveal and heal. However

What usually unravels is we continue to fight and push against our edges instead of SEEING the opportunity for growth and meeting our edges with greater grace and openness. So, we yearn for freedom yet are uncertain, wavered and non-committal in our expression.

So our beloved clings on to us – being obsessive, encroaching our “freedoms” because they don’t feel loved, seen, CHOSEN or CLAIMED. There is doubt because of our insecurities and we therefore perpetuate deeper uncertainty.

We must learn to own our fears and know fully what our come from for our desires truly are. Once we master this, we master the exchange and flow of life.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Role-mate Or Soul-mate?

A role-mate is born of desperation, survival and fear. We get together to survive, not thrive. We don’t share deep values, we are here to serve primal needs only. Our intimacy is empty and scarce. We base our relationships on convenient agreements of doing in the world. Soul-mates come together to thrive, expand their connection to self, each other and the world. They are here to grow and explore their sexuality, spirituality, contributions and more. They are clear that they are here to serve the greater good of society and themselves. Which are you???

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A heartfelt tribute to our connected humanity… Please feel… How do we honour those we feel deeply for, those we are bonded to? We revere them for exactly what they are, how they show up and how they present themselves. How do we allow others to be who they are..?

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What is a soul? What is true connection? What does it mean to be beautifully bonded in partnership with your beloved? It means we are more than our bodies, but deeply connected to our bodies; it means we understand each other, are patient and care for the wellbeing of each other…

Where Do You Place Your Kindness?

Some of us find it easier to serve a global mission, donate blood, feed a starving village or be physically present at a natural disaster, rebuilding the homes, lives and social structures of others, then to be present to the intimate and immediate needs of a loved one…

Shadow Alert

I have a confession. It’s very real for me and has been for some time. This morning I realized the potency of my being and my behaviour…
For many years, intensified violence and aggression were my go-to. I carried internal rage and suppressed trauma that often (not always) expressed itself in physical violence, drunkenness and self-loathing.

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