Childhood Neglect

  1. Your basic needs were not met
  2. You lacked guidelines and structure
  3. Your primary caregivers put you down
  4. You were never or rarely praised
  5. You grew up in scarcity
  6. You grew up in violence, fear and Volatility
  7. You were criticised and judged as a child
  8. Your primary caregivers worked excessively
  9. You didn’t feel heard or seen
  10. You were not attended to in an appropriate way
  11. You were never shown affection such as a hug
  12. When you expressed a painful emotion you were not met with empathy or compassion
  13. You were called names by your parents
  14. Your parents did not defend you

We suffer when we neglect ourselves and when we do not own who we are. So many of us grew up in disconnection from our families, unprotected from those we were meant to trust, unseen and unforgiven. I experienced hardship like many of us – physical abuse, violence, volatility in the home, shame and projected judgment.

My parents were in pain and chose to pass it on to myself and my brother. What has happened to you in not your responsibility. How you deal with it is. What you choose to do with all the gifts are so important. It shapes your destiny.

For me, until I chose to embrace all of me – the shadow, the dark experiences, the repressed fears and the pain I could not FEEL, nor BE free… Freedom was an embrace of all of who I was. Who are you?

What do you need right now in order to thrive? Support, a space to voice your fears, non-judgement? What does the love within you screaming to be heard need right now? Compassion? Empathy? Can you give this two yourself? Can you fully feel yourself in this place?

Your spark is needed. You have NO RIGHT to deny the world of your brilliance and of your light. Your light cannot shine if your darkness is not revealed. You needn’t live there, you simply need to meet yourself where you truly are. Never seen, never heard, can you feel fully this in order to RELEASE and forgive?

Forgiveness is tokenistic unless the feelings around those circumstances are fully felt, expressed and released at a visceral level. You are ready and you are here. Find your tribe, find your voice and believe in your power. Your stories needn’t define you. You get to define you here and now…

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



A Fierce Kind Of Love

We cannot expect others to fill our voids. If we are not connected to who we ultimately (in an ever-evolving way) are we are ‘losing’. Love with ‘others’ may only flourish when we at least recognise the love within ourselves, when we realise we are our own source of brilliance, power, flowing love and divinity.

Humility in Life

There is an opportunity that takes place every so often & rarely in a man’s life is this opportunity presented because we are too stubborn to embrace this gift. That opportunity is to be humbled by the continuity of life.

The only way to embrace this level of humility is to be open to transparent, evolving transformation, change of self, behaviour, beliefs, actions & expressions.

My Unhealthy Shadow Relationship To Food

Men experience food addictions and body issues too. I used food as a means to escape. To leave my reality. It made me feel good. I felt connected, alive and SAFE with food. Food, like the movies, would momentarily take me away from a place that was violent, volatile and what felt to be unsafe.

The Gift Of Jealousy – Why Do We Experience Jealousy?

Jealousy, if misunderstood, not felt and expressed fully and not connected to in an authentic manner can reap havoc with our emotional lives. It becomes problematic when we ignore where the deep feeling of jealousy may lead us…

10 Ways Spirituality Will Save Your Relationship – Part II

In part I we delved deep in to the 10 ways having a spiritual practice and being ‘spiritual’ could serve, save and harmonise your relationships in such a way that you would grow, feel connected and effectively completely overhaul and dramatically improve the quality of…

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