Believe In Yourself

I was naive. I continued to walk the path

I was younger. This was no excuse

I was ignorant. I chose to learn & educate myself

I didn’t believe in myself. I chose to sit with why

I didn’t know better. I forgave myself

I was scared. I surrounded myself with others who inspired me

I was worried. I gave that worry a voice

I thought I would be judged, humiliated, rejected. I persevered

I didn’t think I was “good enough”. I kept moving

I didn’t think that I belonged. I suppressed that

I didn’t think I was worthy. I disliked parts of who I was

I felt I lacked. I fed that fear with more lack

I felt it all. 7 years ago, 2012, I was launching my first book. I was green, knew nothing about the industry or much about myself (although I thought I did).

That time of my life was both liberating & turbulent. I was going through the dark night of the soul & had lost myself in infidelity, greed, lust, rage, prostitution & self-hate. All whilst trying to find my voice & connect to that part of me that wanted to serve humanity.

I was lost & I was clear. I believed in my vision, yet was not treating myself or others with care & kindness. I continued to walk the path. I continued to grow through my pain. Some of my coping strategies were unhealthy, some healthy.

I chose to continue to “do the work”, go deeper, practice self-forgiveness, follow my passions, surround myself with people that saw me fully & cared. I took responsibility & chose to grow. I was innocent then, naive & was hiding in the shadows. But I continued to believe in myself, even if it was ever so small.

It took me time to authentically embrace success. Once I stopped the internal fight, once I integrated the unwanted parts of me & once I felt it all I grew. I faced my demons & my pain – what was holding me back. And you can too.

It’s not easy, yet it’s worth it. It may require you face all of you & that can be confronting. I confronted past trauma, suicide, a complete remodelling of self & more & I am still on that path of service that I dreamed of since I was 6 years old. Only now I feel in true integrity.

What is your dream & what was/is holding you back? 

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



To Ravage and Ravish

See beyond man and woman for a moment.

You want to ravage and ravish the feminine in your life… Then be safety, be heart-centered presence, be consistent, be that container you are meant to be.

For the feminine to open herself up, to flower to you, to show herself fully the masculine must meet her where she is. The masculine must learn to lead that dance.

Deep Truth – The Power Of Masculine Realisation

We must understand that the masculine and the feminine reside within both males and females and apply to both males and females for each other and for themselves. It is through allegory and story that we learn deeply and profoundly…

Repressing Longings Hurts Others

When we repress our deep longings, we hurt others.

Importantly, we hurt and deny ourselves of pleasure and joy. When we do this, we limit our expression and the quality of relationships we can receive in our lives.

Love Is Conditional

There it is. I said what basically we all do. We all place conditions on the way we care for others, okay, well the VAST majority of us do. I know I have & so what, where to from here? Are standards, ideals, values & conditions bad?

If your partner is physically or emotionally abusing you consistently should you remain in that situation with no indication of change because you wish to have ‘unconditional love’?

Masculine Closeness & Sexuality

  Stef Sifandos Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker     I just finished leading my weekly webinar with my group...
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