• Stop living vicariously through others
• Ask what you learned from inaction
• Get to the core of the pain, beyond what appears to be “obvious”
• Is there another version of the past that you can experience now?
• Identify the emotional attachment
• Assume responsibility to empower yourself
• Apply loving kindness and compassion to the parts of you in pain
• Focus on a future you desire
• Grieve fully what you have lost
• Practice sincere gratitude

Regret can eat us away. It keeps us locked into a past that was not meant for us anyway. It distracts us from being present and in gratitude. The active and deliberate practice of gratitude releases serotonin. This reinforces a sense of appreciation for the ‘now’ moment and the people in that now moment, forming deeper bonds.

It balances out dopamine and helps us ground into what is unraveling in the now. Regret is almost a false belief that where we are is not where we are meant to be and “If only this happened, then I would have…”

If you are meant to be somewhere, then you’ll be there. If you are not, then do whatever you can in your power to BE there. Regret keeps us from taking responsibility and owning our actions. It disempowers us and keeps us playing small.

It holds us in a place of victimhood that only perpetuates more pain. But this “sounds” all good and well, and taking the “higher ground” always sounds easier than what it actually is, but how do we move past regret?

We feel… We grieve… We express… We allow the tears to flow, the sadness to be felt, the anger to be moved. We must give ourselves the dignity of our healing process, without severe intervention and without judgment.

We must meet our tears, our pain, and our fears with loving presence, compassion, and sincerity. We must surround ourselves with people that SEE us, so that we may feel empowered and supported during our most difficult times.

Otherwise, our regret becomes memories that are considered of greater value than our suppressed pain and the current situation becomes too overwhelming because we have not processed our pain and released it, therefore the fantasy of a possible past becomes more appealing.

The paradox of it though is we experience more pain. What are you needing to grieve?

يسعد المرء أن يكون في الخدمة.