Believe In Yourself

I was naive. I continued to walk the path

I was younger. This was no excuse

I was ignorant. I chose to learn & educate myself

I didn’t believe in myself. I chose to sit with why

I didn’t know better. I forgave myself

I was scared. I surrounded myself with others who inspired me

I was worried. I gave that worry a voice

I thought I would be judged, humiliated, rejected. I persevered

I didn’t think I was “good enough”. I kept moving

I didn’t think that I belonged. I suppressed that

I didn’t think I was worthy. I disliked parts of who I was

I felt I lacked. I fed that fear with more lack

I felt it all. 7 years ago, 2012, I was launching my first book. I was green, knew nothing about the industry or much about myself (although I thought I did).

That time of my life was both liberating & turbulent. I was going through the dark night of the soul & had lost myself in infidelity, greed, lust, rage, prostitution & self-hate. All whilst trying to find my voice & connect to that part of me that wanted to serve humanity.

I was lost & I was clear. I believed in my vision, yet was not treating myself or others with care & kindness. I continued to walk the path. I continued to grow through my pain. Some of my coping strategies were unhealthy, some healthy.

I chose to continue to “do the work”, go deeper, practice self-forgiveness, follow my passions, surround myself with people that saw me fully & cared. I took responsibility & chose to grow. I was innocent then, naive & was hiding in the shadows. But I continued to believe in myself, even if it was ever so small.

It took me time to authentically embrace success. Once I stopped the internal fight, once I integrated the unwanted parts of me & once I felt it all I grew. I faced my demons & my pain – what was holding me back. And you can too.

It’s not easy, yet it’s worth it. It may require you face all of you & that can be confronting. I confronted past trauma, suicide, a complete remodelling of self & more & I am still on that path of service that I dreamed of since I was 6 years old. Only now I feel in true integrity.

What is your dream & what was/is holding you back? 

يسعد المرء أن يكون في الخدمة.

ستيفانوس سيفاندوس

كيميائي علاقاتي، متحدث ومؤلف ومتحدث ومؤلف