A Man’s Worth

I once thought that my worth as a man was derived from my title, status, what I accumulated and what I DID in the world. I honestly believed that the only way to feel worthy was defined by what I had, not who I am.

Like many of us, I chased the proverbial carrot and poured everything I had into acting according to how I thought society wanted me to act. There was no way I was leaving the comfort of the status quo.

Until I did… And then life changed for the better. I ceased to place my self-worth in the hands of others. I moved away from validating myself, thoughts and actions based on the expectations of others.

I began to embrace the intrinsic worth that was me – that is all of us. I realized that my character, embodied values and the consistency in my behavior was more important than what car I drove, the woman I was with, how much money was in my bank account, or how many letters I had following my name.

All of these things are nice and in fact I advocate for them, BUT not at the expense of experiencing harmony and connection. Our happiness is our responsibility. If we place it in ‘things’, possessions, other people’s opinions, and status we are playing a losing game.

As men, we like to be in control of our environment, attempting to control all that is outside of us is a fruitless task. How we respond and how we feel about ourselves based on the values we choose to live by outweighs the need to impress others through a bottomless pit of external validation.

Be your own man, run your own race, breathe the unknown, leap in to the mystery, explore the forbidden and innovate your path. For the path you forge for yourself is the only one that truly matters.

And more important, how you relate to that path and how you see yourself based on your empowered actions is the only act that matters.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

Today’s Modern Warrior

In a world of dysmorphic alpha males that are attached to polarized and unhealthy expressive states of being, something needs to give… We tend to think that there are either alpha or beta males – firstly, this line of thinking is limiting (does alpha even truly exist???? And secondly, we have an opportunity to redefine what it means to be an ‘alpha’ male…

The Wounded Feminine

This energy resides within all of us. Today let’s speak to the wounded feminine within a woman’s body. When a woman is in her wounded or shadow feminine, she is suffering.
This suffering is projected into the world as low self-worth. Nearly every action comes from a place of deficit, feeling not enough and needing to be seen and validated in unhealthy ways, a woman will compromise her values, integrity and commitments to self.

The Awakened Man

We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves that then leaks into our relationships. I remember the moment where I really turned harsh self-judgment on its head. I mean I really got it, viscerally in my body, it dropped like it was there the whole time and I couldn’t see it or even access it.

The Pursuit Of Rawness

There is something sacred, yet tantalizingly fucking sexy about exposing ourselves in complete rawness to another living being.

To be seen for who we are, what we are, what we perceive and what we bring to the world in rawness, open vulnerability and the risk of being completely rejected is exhilarating yet epically scary.

Excuses Are Not Masculine

When we make excuses we negate responsibility and therefore defuse our power. This is unattractive and makes us as men untrustworthy.

Recently having facilitated hundreds of men through deep transformational and explorative work I realized profoundly that our excuses are holding us back from intimacy and connection – to be seen and to witness.